Well, most of my body aches and pains have gone away. However, I've had a headache for the past few days, and ever since yesterday, the backs and deep insides of my ears have been hurting. It's hard to describe it though.
Yeah, so that's going on.
I mostly decided to say what I said last post because I just felt like I had to dump all my at-the-moment unsettling feels. If I didn't, I don't think I would've been able to stay asleep long. Yeah, it got that bad. Monday wasn't a great day. I still feel so guilty and like such a burden, which pretty much sucks.
I honestly felt way worse a few hours before I decided to create that post. But, well, I still felt crappy. So that's that. I guess. Yeah.
I don't think my sister hates me as much as this past weekend. She got us Chipotle for dinner, which was nice. Umm.. yeah.
The other night, I was dreaming that I was in this cool game group chat. It was so cool and fun. Dang, wish that were me.
It was either called Black Souls, Black Soul, Black Spirits, or Black Spirit. I don't remember.
It was a cool computer game. That was nice, even though I don't remember anything else about it.
For the past few days (longer than I've had this headache), I've been thinking about Duke and Finny. And I'm pretty sure I had a dream about them. It was so sad. Like actually sad. It made me think of crying because that's how I'll be with my crybaby ass.
If I could actually draw, I would draw that scene from the dream. I don't think I'll ever be able to capture how Duke's face looked like. Especially his eyes. The eyes, man, those are pained. He's been through some shit, that's for sure.
I also don't think I can actually draw Finny's body in that position. Without it looking too weird.
I honestly love thinking about those two so much. Like, it goes into the past before all the story shit starts. It's like sad nostalgia. Then there's the whole trust (afraid to trust, trust issues, betrayals, lies, forgiveness) thing they go through. And, oh god, my heart.
Well, I guess Duke's eyes and mouth in my dream kinda look like how they did in this thing I drew not too long ago.
http://thejamaamist.blogspot.com/2018/02/duke-vent-who-are-you-really.html (on his left side but it would be on his right side in my dream)
Uh.. I have a skit in mind. I keep on forgetting to post it. I'm afraid it's not good enough, and that it's a little too harsh to be a skit. But like.. I don't think anyone will even care. So.. yeah.
Oh and I only have one or two empty pages left in my sketchpad. The one I've been using for the past several months to draw my story characters in.
Darn, what a shame. That's sad.
I'm still not over this picture of Duke and Finny I have in my head. It's been hurting me.
Dang it, Finny. You've made Duke weak. Look what you've done, my precious boy. How dare you.
Uhh.. I love them.
I also might've gotten inspired by this song. I feel certain emotions whenever I listen to it. I don't even know how it relates to Duke or Finny, but the picture I have of them in this one specific scene in my head makes me think of this song I started listening to a lot more recently.
Feels.. damn it why.
The Mask Slips Away~ RED
Watch me relate it to Fierdan and/or Z and/or Ryen at some point. Most likely Fierdan because I like him the most. Haha.
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Just breathe. It'll be okay.
Don't bother worrying about me. I'll be fine.
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