The last post was getting long, so I didn't want to mention it then that I've also looked at my old story art.
And uh... uhhhh..........
I never updated anything on that blog except for the chapters. Oh geez, that 2014 and 2015 art though.
So I've been thinking. Something like, "hey me, if you ever are doubtful that your art skills improved over the past few years, look at your old ass story art from 2015."
2015 me sure was a weird kid. I made one contest. I was so strict on the rules.
2015 me: If you even THINK of drawing Twinkle and Duke as humans, you will be penalized! Don't do it! They are NOT humans! >:O
Damn. Why was I so against people drawing them as humans?
That's.. that's what they are? The "foxes" thing was a symbolic thing and I thought of it that way since 2016 if not earlier.
... I'm posting now because I have a snow day. No classes today.
... except my first class was going to be canceled today even if we didn't get snow.
.... I lowkey have considered redrawing my characters in their "fox forms" because I want to see if my art has improved when it comes to drawing anthro characters (or in other words, furries (aahh asdfghjklqwertyiop)).
Uh... hhhhhh...........
Cutepups in 2015, fellas! XD
If you don't get it, I mean it as: I think my art has, in fact, improved. I think I draw better now than in 2015.
Oh hey, look at this thing. (oh god why)
I used to be proud of this! (lmao)
I visualize them looking very different than how I drew them there. And yes, even if I draw them in this scene in their "fox forms" again.
Dang, that kiss scene I drew looks very cursed. The writing itself is cursed. But the drawing? Thanks a lot for emphasizing how cursed it is, Cutepups. *smh*
Observations I made last night and today:
1. Why are their heads nothing but large circles? Heads aren't circles??? ?????? Their heads are too round.
2. Their bodies are way too skinny. How do their skinny bodies hold up their big circles heads? ?????
3. Their arms are so skinny. It looks like they actually never ate food. Was this my art style? ???? Huh??
Yeah ahhh. Big yikes.
It's kinda funny looking back at my old art of them. I imagine them looking so different now.
I'll refer to the drawing of the scene I put here:
1. I now view Duke as no longer having brown hair during this part of the story (this is a scene from Chapter 40 which used to be the "naughtiest" thing I wrote lmao). The ends of his hair are black (ok, very dark brown). After the Night of the Black Flames, I see Duke's hair turning all black (well, the same color as Fierdan's).
2. I also picture Duke's hair starting to become long in the 40s arc. Instead of his hair being brown and short, I see him having messy black hair (that awkward time when your short hair starts growing out and it looks like a mess).
3. I view Duke as being a few inches taller than Twinkle, so there should be more of a height gap between them when they kiss.
4. They both generally have thin bodybuilds, but that doesn't mean their bodies are that skinny. That was a poor art style choice, past me!
[sex mention below]***
5. This isn't really about the drawing, but I keep on thinking they're half-naked in this scene. But they're not. They're just not wearing their jackets. I bet it's because I wrote them as 14 year olds back then (14 year olds are like babies to me now, that's so young wtf) and now I view them as being 17 year olds (at least).
I don't know, I keep on thinking that I emphasized that they took off their clothes in Chapter 40. But when I look back at it, I see that they only took off their jackets.
Damn. I really thought this scene was close to being sexual and full of sexual tension. Oops haha, you are wrong, me.
I mean I thought that Duke was at least shirtless in this kiss scene. But apparently, he still has his shirt on.
Hmm... hmm..... Oh. Ohh. That original subplot that shall not be named. (DukebeingshirtlesswhenhewasalonewithDawn) Right. That's when he was shirtless. Yep, I'm changing that whole thing.
If you think that's naughty, you should see the ideas I have for Danny/Fierdan kiss scenes. Like.. ok.. he's in a bed with his partner and they're probably naked and they kiss.. in lots of places.
Anyway, I'm only interested in romance and sex when it comes to thinking of story ideas for my characters. Real life? No. Other fictional things? Not really.
... I also thought Twinkle took off her shirt and was wearing a cami shirt in this Chapter 40 kiss scene. But no. I was mistaken.
... lol I also wasn't sure if Duke had his pants on or if he was just in his underwear. Well.. uh.. now I know. (He wasn't just in his underwear. That's too sexual for the viewers. Please stop talking, Cutepups.)
Yeah. Ok.
....... I don't really remember much of 2014 either. But I feel like I remember more from that year than 2015.
It's pretty sad how my memory is full of blanks.
And if you don't get it, that means I barely remember my childhood. Well, I know.. some of it. But I feel like I should remember more, but I just don't.
It makes me sad. :(
............. it's very disturbing how objectified Duke is. He's not even viewed as being human by others. Except for the other protagonists (Twinkle, Dawn, Ardere, Finny, ... wait- are there any others?). Just about every other character views Duke as being an object or demon.
He just wants to be human. </3
Characters like Duke's parents, Risak, and Taurel see Duke as like a machine or demon under a human-looking cover-up. So they don't really see anything wrong in doing all the horrific violent shit they do to him. Or in his father's case, the violent shit he wants to do to Duke.
And he's also objectified because other characters see him as nothing more than a sexual object.
So like. Duke.. what a guy. He's either viewed as a demon or machine.. or an object that people like to sexualize.
The "Admiral" girl from school. Wow, she's so creepy. How many times did she go up to Duke and ask him why she (or no one else she knew) never saw him with a girlfriend, never saw him kiss someone (mouth-to-mouth), never saw him shirtless/close to naked... like? And how she was all like "you're so hot, Duke, like you're the hottest guy in the school, you're so sexy, go out with me, hottie and we should ;)"... like?? That's disturbing. (o-o)
I don't think it was only "Admiral" who said or thought things about Duke and how they wished to see more of his body. I think more girls (not sure about other genders?) would think stuff like "Duke is so hot", "I wonder what he looks like shirtless", "why don't I ever see him with a girlfriend; I want to date him", "is he a good kisser? did he ever kiss a girl?"... "why doesn't Duke ever go to high school parties? is he afraid of drinking alcohol? did he ever drink?" and then to "Duke is so hot but I don't think he had sex? omg is Duke still a virgin? how come he never fucked?" and yeah, disturbing stuff, you get the point (I'll just assume you do).
..... Duke was a victim of sexual harassment and assault. I used to think only Dawn was, but I'm far into the idea that Duke was too.
(is?) ... omg stfu cpups! >:/
Anyway, yeah, Duke (and Dawn are) is objectified in the story canon.
Sorry. :(
Back to Twinkle. I feel kinda nostalgic listening to the songs I put in her playlist. :')
Back to both of them. I write their names as Duke and Twinkle (well yeah, obviously). But I don't really refer to them by those names in my head. Duke and Twinkle are just nicknames they have. They aren't their "real" or "true" names.
It's funny. I haven't even come up with Duke's full name (no, it's not Duke Fierdan), but I read "Duke" as being a quick way to write his actual name.
I titled the playlist "DUKE + Fierdan" because Duke is supposed to be an abbreviation of 4 words (a 4 word name).
No one knows his "true" name. Not even me.
Fierdan does though, but he never told me. He's very secretive. He won't tell me the stuff he knows. :(
(Ok so maybe not "no one" because Fierdan knows. lol)
And as for Twinkle, I think of Stella whenever I write Twinkle down. Stella.. that's her name. Ok lol wow so confusing huh.
But I'll continue to call them Duke and Twinkle in my posts.
Whew... ^-^"
If you actually read my posts, thank you.
You've reached the end of this one.
Bye.
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