Okay, so since I'm in the posting mood, I feel like posting this. It's some questions that I've always wanted to ask you guys (but this post is school-related). It's because I want to know how much you guys can relate to me irl (like the "real me" sort of speak).
And since I bet you guys can't/don't relate to some of them, I have a quote. *winks* ;)
"And if you're warm, you can't relate to me."
... wait a minute. That's how that song goes, right? I haven't listened to that song (or any of their songs) in like forever.
But they're one of my favorite bands.
... oh wait. Almost forgot lol. I was quoting "Hear Me" by Imagine Dragons. <3
Actually, the lyrics in "Fake You Out" are popping out at me when I'm typing this. (Yes.)
So, bring forth the questions! >:U ;-;
~*~*~*~*~
1. Do you just know that you are smart at the things you're learning at school? Like, you completely understand the material? But you always seem to forget one important main detail about the topic when you get a test or (pop) quiz? Or you forget to do one part of the homework because the teacher/s didn't say it in class or even refer to it at all? What about having to do homework about a topic in a chapter you never actually learned about (not note-taking)? Oh, how about having to do a very complicated project about a topic you know well, but then instead of a test you have to do a project? And where you know you can easily get an A or B on the test of that topic, but instead have to do this huge project that you get a C or D (sometimes even Fs) because the project directions are so freaking complicated and the teacher never explains how to do it? And even though you know that subject is one you're good at, you still aren't good enough because of flunking a single project and never a test or quiz or homework assignment or classwork assignment or anything besides a project? Do. You. Guys. Know. How. Freaking. Annoying. As. Hell. This. Is. ?!?!?!?!?!? *cough* history class last year *cough*
2. Do you feel like the true friends you have are people you don't even know? Do you feel like you can connect and relate to your online friends an infinite number of times better than any friend you have in real life? Do you feel like your real best friend is an online friend that could, I don't know, live across the country from you or halfway across the world? Does it hurt like hell knowing you'll probably never meet each other irl due to living so far away from each other? Does it frustrate you when you just want to post online all your personal information so you can know your online and best friend better?
3. Do you lack self-confidence? Are you self-conscious? Do you get high levels of stress (not anxiety- I researched on that and found out I don't have any actual symptoms of legit anxiety) for no actual reason? Do you ever wonder what's your purpose in this world because you screwed up so many damn things ever since you were born? Do you just want to hide in your room and block out the world so no one sees and hears you crying due to something bothering you? Are you a sensitive person in any way imaginable? Do you sometimes hate every damn thing about you?
4. Do you ever hear (or read if online) people saying they're shy, and then see them later talking casually to new people? Do you ever secretly feel like yelling at them and tell them that they are not shy? Because if you say that and do that, you are NOT shy. Shy people don't open up quickly to new people they never met before and then immediately start conversations with them. Shy people don't speak loudly and feel like they just made a new best friend when they just meet someone new, okay? Shy people stay quiet and hang close around people they're close with when they're in an event when they have to meet or even be around new people. Shy people are usually introverts, I think. Shy people don't like having to introduce themselves to new people. I'm a shy person. I just typed exactly how I am in this paragraph about my shyness.
5. Do you hate when your family just out of the blue brings up an event (like someone you were close with's death) that you're still pretty sad about?
6. Do you suddenly feel very hot and sweaty and nauseous when teachers talk about extreme heat stuff? Or when someone says the tight room you're in is hot, and you suddenly feel sickly hot and dizzy? But never when you yourself think about extreme heat or read it in words? Just when someone talks about it to you. Like, about temperatures around thousands and millions and billions of degrees. And this only happens with extreme heat and never extreme cold.
~*~*~*~*~
Well, I'm tired and got to study some more. So yeah. Please answer my questions personally to you if you'd like.
I'd prefer not seeing any joke/silly comments because this is a serious and personal post.
Yeah, I bet none of you knew these things about me.
Yeah, I bet only one or two people can somewhat relate to these things.
If you don't like how I am irl, then just leave. And stay away from me.
Okay then.
Goodbye.
~ Cutepups
(If you want a more "personal" name for me, then you can call me S.)
Ah, still no comments? Hmm... Guys, I'm really not depressed or anything. I'm just wondering what you think about these things (*cough* please tell me I'm not the only one like this *cough*) and if we're similar or different from one another. You don't have to comment your deep life stories in the comments or anything, just tell me if you're like me in any of these ways. These questions have been bothering me for quite a few days now, so I thought of posting them and seeing what you guys are gonna comment as a response. Once again, I didn't mean for this to be a sad vent or whatever, I'm just curious to know if you guys are like my internet twins or something so we can relate to each other better. Once again, don't worry, I'm still the same ol' Cutepups. Just now you know I'm really not that happy, bubbly, swaggy blue cute puppy dancing around.. lol. Luv ya as friends and very far away "sisters".. bye!
ReplyDelete~ S ♡
OMG. Of course I was going to awnser this (because I know it's important to you) but there is a reason why I didn't- I was studying since when I got home. Not even kidding. I only checked a few things (I need to concentrate, so I like to stop checking them constantly.) but strangely enough I always check your blog during the school day/at the end of the day. (Didn't see this post until later I-|) idk why I'm explaining myself. Ok first question. These might be kinda personal...but eh. So they might be somewhat vauge. (Or not, knowing me 0-0)
ReplyDelete1. Kinda. Kinda not. More like...I try so hard to understand what the teacher is trying to teach us...but it takes me much longer to understand things in certain classes. But in some I feel smart, like, if I try really hard and I have the material down...or I'm just in general good at that class. It kind of depends on the grades I get, and that leads to me constantly attacking myself.
2. Again: somewhat. There's some people who I don't know very well but feel a close attachment to. Some friends I know for years - and still don't know exactly who they are - I feel close to them too, I don't know why.
Although it was mostly the same question, here's my take on the other part of it. Well..I guess you could say I always feel like I am not important to others, and feel like I'm alone most of the time. So I don't really feel like I really am close to anyone that much anymore. I used to think of certain friends and hold them in a higher standard. "That's my best friend." I would say, "that's my souls mate." But now, I don't really feel like anyone's gotten really close to me- and well, taking you, even though we've known eachother for 1 and a half years, it still feels like I don't know you, and you don't really know me; and we haven't really talked. Good long talks. But you really absolutely feel like me, somewhat, in your thoughts and feelings. I'm can't really understand how people care for me..it's weird. I just feel tired. And I mean in no offense this to you...I know that you hold me in your highest standard, and all, and I've always appreciated your effort. It's just that I feel alone. I'm not dissing our friendship (I know you felt sad reading this...) I'm sorry... I don't know anymore.
I hate myself for feeling this way.
3. Yes. Yes. Yes.
4. I'm very shy. Haven't really experienced what you're saying, but I know what you mean. Sometimes it's just so hard. 'V'
5. Meh, haven't really experienced what you're saying. But yeh, kinda when they talk about things I rather wouldn't them talk about.. Things I don't agree on. It makes me feel like if I told them, they wouldn't accept me anymore.
5. Nope, but now that I think about it, you may have a phobia of some sort, man.
Btw, sorry for the short awnsers. Not feeling too much like writing today. Idk anymore. I'm going to proabs add a more lengthy thingy to this explaining myself later I-\
I should be sleeping now, but I'm also gonna vaguely reply to your comment. Um yeah.. lol.
DeleteYeah, studying. Ugh, I really have to stop going on Blogger and DA whike doing that! I had to study for 3 quizzes today, 2 which are just pure memorization. //I suck at concentrating! >.<
1. Yeah, I'm like that too. (Omg so sorry if this comment sounds bland or fake to you I'm typing this quickly and I'm tired from studying the periodic table.. autocorrect sucks on my phone ugh). I was mainly thinking about my last year's history, language arts, and bio classes. I was pretty good in those subjects overall.. but projects not as much (in history I mean by that). And when I fully understand a few math lessons, but not the entire unit for the test. This year, however, I'm pretty good at math too.. uhm.
2. Yeah.. it kinda hurt, but I totally understand too. Like.. idk how to say this either.. *cough* awkwardness.. ehemm... When I was in middle school (not really that much in elementary school but still kinda), I could always be with my friends who I felt like were/are (they're still my friends.. I just feel like we drifted apart last year) always there for me. I remember us talking about our fandoms in our classes for one.. I miss those days so much :c. And now I feel like my friendship with those friends is kinda separated by a very thin line now. But good thing, we sit at the same lunch table and yeah.. we're just not as close best friends anymore. Oh and one of my friends like that recently moved out of my school, which also made me feel pretty upset because I miss her so much and never knew if she was legitimately leaving my city/town or not.. but I'm pretty sure she did. I'm not even sure if she remembers my number. .. ehemm I mean.. How to put this..? I honestly do put you and Mutant as my high-ranked internet friends. Like I do feel like we could become close friends if we get to know each other better.. sounds creepy and cheesy I know. However high-praising friends I know online can only go so far.. When I have to write for school who my friends are, I honestly think of putting you and Mutant's names on the paper, but then only end up writing my close friends' I know irl names down. No offense, I really do love you guys as my friends and all, but I just trust my irl friends more.. and we go through the same situations too, and besides, it would be pretty weird if the teacher found out my bffs are girls named Reachie and Mutant lol. And like you, I don't even know if I even ever had a true best friend. I do (mostly did though) have friends that I talk/text/all that with about anything in the world. But then I realize every single one of them has at least one other friend that's way closer to her than I am. Ugh, sometimes I wonder if I love and praise you guys on here too much. And like you said, we really don't know each other that well. I personally don't lie about my irl stuff, but idk sometimes when I read about you (and others of course) commenting and saying they can connect to how I feel when I'm in a sad mood, it feels fake to me. None of my irl friends felt the way I felt, so how could people I know online can?- we barely know each other ugh! And I also think we're so similar.. but are we really? Recently (past year or so), I've been feeling really alone when it comes to my friends, and yeah, I felt like you guys were the only ones who I had at the moment who I could refer to as my friends. Idk maybe that's why I'm so attached to you and Mutant in particular and believe you guys to be my best of friends. But then again. We can't even know each other personally that well.. it sucks. Like, I've been thinking, is having these internet friendships even worth it? I might be thinking we're best of friends online, but idk maybe you think I'm just another fun person you know online.
Idk what else to say about that, I gotta go now. Bye.~
Ugh, have to go soon. So I'll just awnser 2 and come back later. For the one about writing about us, um...you could always use my name 8) or make up names for us lol! But anyways I know what you mean about trust. Like, you don't really know what I look like like (sometimes...I want you guys to know...but personal internet privacy and all that) or really what I do. I mean, it would be amazing to meet you in real life and stuff because honestly I think I trust you guys enough to do that. But really, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you at all, and you've always been there for me and try to talk to me (rather than some people who never text me again). I guess it's just everyone, in general, I feel like I can't pour my soul out to them because they have like..always left me. Idk. I guess I have trust issues; sometimes it's hard for me to talk. But really, I don't think it's useless to have internet friends...because...you guys have always made me feel better. Sometimes I feel so fake and alone, maybe that's why I've felt so apart from you (and everyone). It makes me sad to think that maybe I'll never see your smile. I will really try to get to know you more, this time. I'll try, slowly. To understand that people actually care about me (it's not you, it's me lol) well idk. I'm sorry for being a bad friend (I'll be back to this later have to leave I-|)
DeleteOkay..
Delete@3: Aww.. ;-; okay.
@4: Yep, shyness. One of the many things I hate about myself. .-.
@5: Yeah.. or tell me to stop being over-sensitive and stop over-thinking it/remembering the bad times. :/
@6: I really don't know. I'm pretty sure it's not a phobia or whatever because I'm not feared of it. Like, when teachers go on and on and on descriptively talking about extreme heat (like learning about the sun in science class a few years back) or when my math teacher from a few years back told about a situation from extreme heat to extreme cold and vice versa in such a short amount of time. Like when they descriptively talk about it, I imagine being the one in those temperatures that are millions of degrees.. very, very hot 0.0. Or maybe just because I don't feel that well in hot weather.. then having family hate me for getting sick in the 110+ car. Yeah.. idk man.
Honestly, I couldn't stop thinking about what you said all morning long. Idk if it's my sensitivity and tiredness or whatever, but I've been thinking if what you said is true. I really don't know much anymore. Am I just over-thinking things again by thinking of us as best friends? Honestly.. idk. And you're right- we really aren't that close.. I just think we are. And when I read that, (this was late at night so that might have affected my reaction mood) I thought that maybe I do care for you a little too much as my online friend and you really don't like me as a friend as much as I do for you. Idk me anymore either. I hate being so sensitive and automatically thinking things the wrong way instead of thinking it through. Idk maybe you were just frustrated due to all that studying you did before commenting. And I was already tired (I'm always tired nowadays) and starting to regret being so personal about myself in this post and how dumb it was of me to post it.. no one will understand anyways, not even myself. But after reading your most recent comment from this morning, I can still understand. I (used to.. for the most part) would think I was very close with my irl friends and we'd talk during class and throughout the school about ridiculous things. Like, I thought we were actual best friends. But then later on, I feel like all that was just fake because then I see them off talking and hanging out with their other friends and never me. And then I'd text them, they text me back.. then suddenly they never text me, talk to me, tell me what's going on ever again. But I don't think that's necessarily related to trust issues. Nowadays, I just have them due to people impostering on the blog and people "sugar-coating" everything by just telling me lies. Idk I guess it's just me as an incompetent person.. maybe I'm just destined to never have an actual close friend that understands me and doesn't just suddenly ditch and forget me one day. Maybe I see you as possibly my best friend is because you're the closest person I know who is like that- someone that understands/relates to me whenever (especially when I feel down and all those bad moods) and hasn't suddenly left and forgot me leaving me lonely again. People care about you because they love you- ex. family. I'm just a messed up person.. I don't even know myself and who I really am and who I will be. Oh.. Maybe they all left me (or just communicate with me less) because I'm such a bad friend- don't talk often, isn't that interesting, just a boring person in general.. idk.
Deleteaw man, ugh I feel like trash making you feel this way >b>. Whatever you're thinking is pretty valid. I mean, someone's relationship, I guess, is all determined what you think of me, what I think of you, I suppose. I really all the time think stuff like that, and the person doesn't really care much about me...I guess it feels like? but honest, I don't even know how I feel about people anymore. It makes me sad, when you tell me that you think you care for me too much, but honestly, I didn't know someone cared for me that muchh... because gah, (like you're saying later) I am a boring person, too. I only go on the internet and wait for you guys to come on. I don't even know what I'm feeling, or what to do anymore, and I would feel so bad if for all this time I only used you guys for myself .... or something weird. But it makes me happy that I'm one of those friends that never leaves you. Because I'm one of those loyal people...all this time it just feels like I'm just trying so hard to be friends with people and they don't really want to be friends with me. Well, we should go talk sometime on chat so we can talk all this out sometime...(this is long)...I'm messed up too, I don't even know if I'm friends with ANYONE, and that makes me so sad to know ... like, makes me want to cry. You're real, and you're beautiful, it would make me so sad to know that I never thought of you as my friend...and of course I relate to you...you're like .... you remind me of me. But yet, you're so unique.
DeleteI was thinking this morning about you too... and I don't want you to be sad. I guess that's something...because I don't KNOW my feelings anymore...I'm sorry. I'm probably making this worse.
Yeah, I do that most of the time in my free time too- waiting on my phone for comments showing you guys are on and stuff. Oh and I don't think it's selfish to feel that way, I sometimes think it too.. well kind of. .. I don't even know how to explain it really, and I'm guessing you can't either. Haha yeah, when I look at it, our comments here are so long.. lol. Hmm.. If you still want to tell me whatever about this topic, you can tell me through DA notes or tumblr messaging if you want I guess since I can't guarantee you if we can both be on chat at the same time. Oh and no, you're not making it worse.. reading your comment from this morning and this one cheered me up inside from the one from last night. ;w;
Deleteoh ok. that's a relief to here. ya I'll just go on DA or something.. I mean, if you want to continue this. Gosh, anyways. : p
DeleteOkay, sure. Only if you have anything else to say or whatever. Like.. how about no more fakeness and lies. If you have anything to tell me about whatever, then tell me and don't make it seem like you're hiding it away from me. Okay. *shrugs*
Delete1. My teacher says I'm "advanced" but I am actually pretty dumb, actually, very dumb.
ReplyDelete2. Uhh. Sorta? My friend is very nice :) But she also has LOTS of other friends that I am only acquaintances to. So I feel left out. I have some other friends, but they are 1 year younger than me, and they don't talk to me much either. I only hang out with them when my other friend is missing.
3. Very. I am crappy at everything I do. Even in classes, I am usually the last people doing a certain thing. Even in art -.-
4. I am shy, but I am (gradually, VEARY gradually) losing my shyness. I am still extremely shy, I only talk to people if I've known them for quite a bit. I'm not really shy on the internet bcuz then what's the point of internet? I like being social on the internet, but not on the.. outernet? I cry almost every time I present speeches. I only remember once when I didn't. Ya'know something weird? I don't cry all the time, but when I do, it's either because I feel like crying, my eyes just automatically cry or people compliment me and be liek, "Don't worry, it's gonna be okay" or "we aren't gonna hurt you" or "That was gooood!". Why I'm like, that? I have no clue, I just am so.. (not on the internet though)
5. Yes. Yes I do. Like when I don't play with a certain friend anymore because a certain issue, my mum is all like, "Don't you play with [insert name] anymore?" I don't wanna talk about it.
6. Um.. I don't know.
Hey, we might have some in common! Or probably not. Anyways, I really don't think you'd like ME as a sister '-'
Thanks for answering too. Means a lot to me. c':
Deleteshy people and them online are completely different.
ReplyDeletei'm shy. but i'm confident online, maybe because you don't know how i look like of whatever and if i'm completely comfortable with you then i can pour my heart out to you
i have a close online friend who i could say anything to until he wanted to hear my voice and see my face and i tried to always change the subject or say 'next time'
but either way, being shy sucks.
//Quick comment sorry (mine not yours lol ok)//
DeleteYeah, I agree with you. You guys know how outgoing I am online since I post about whatever and reply to your comments and all that stuff. And yeah, I have to say I'm not //as shy// online than irl. But when reading someone's post on social media or whatever and they say they're "shy" when they open up so close to people they only know online and face-chat. And if I also know the person irl, and they say they're shy (like online or something) but they aren't irl.. it annoys me. (Yes, I've encountered people like this before). So.. yeah.
I try to be really energetic, crazy and dumb online, wile I am shy outline.
DeleteOffline, sorry.
DeleteHaha, it's fine. I'm exactly like that too. (When I want to make my "fun" posts.)
Deletei agree with anonymous, i'm more confident and open online than i am irl. i don't know why, maybe it's because i don't like the way i look or afraid of making a mistake or something.
DeleteYep, I understand that completely. Because I still kinda relate to that too.. (by that I mean I don't really care that much about me and what I wear as much as I did in the past).
Delete