I honestly don't know why I'm typing this up here.
Everyone I know is succeeding and moving on in life while I'm just staying here.
Honestly, I'm really not good at anything (except for being nice to you guys on here and all that basic stuff). But, let's be real here, we don't all know the "real" us.
I can't even do that many things right. I can't even withhold a decent conversation.
I swear, I always magically come up with a way to fail everything I do.
Everyone I know who I love is succeeding and drifting farther and farther away.
I feel like you're the only ones who will stay with me; who I can "talk" to.
I feel so alone right now. Everyone (except parents of course) I'm really close to is either far away from me, or I can barely see them (in person) anymore.
What the hell is wrong with me? They annoy the heck out of me, but I'd rather have them here than just be alone. (Referring to siblings in that case.)
I wish I can say out loud into words what I type. But I can't.
I can barely see my friends anymore. Only sometimes. Like, not as often as before.
Man, I screwed up big time.
At times (like now), I feel like (some of) you are my only true friends who haven't left.
Okay bye whatever.
~ S </3
PS: Things just can't simply "get better". I tried that a least a thousand times, and it never works.
I can't stop telling you that you're an amazing person because it's true. I know how it feels to feel as if you're drifting away from friends. Just last year, one of my closest friends (who I was friends with for eight years) was drifting away. I felt as if she wasn't telling me, or talking to me, as much as before. Though at the end of the year, she sorta sought my presence. Just attempt to speak to them more.
ReplyDeleteI bet you just don't know what you want to succeed in, or what you want to do later in life yet. And if you don't know, don't rush it onto you, wait for it to come to you. If you already know, then work hard at it! Your friends might be succeeding in other things, but you're succeeding in your own.
You and Reachie are my only internet friends, and I've only spoken to one (I mean, actually had an hours long conversation with) of my friends who goes to my school.
I'm not even going to tell you to tell them this -some things you shouldn't really tell your friends, even your closest. You should talk to them whenever you have the chance (at lunch, before school, after school, weekends, et cetera). I understand if you can't talk face-to-face at times (like go over to their house, or they come to yours), but that's what texting/facetime is for, right?
We're always going to be here for you, and when I say "we" I mean ALL of your friends. Your best friends, your closest friends, your general friends, your good friends -we're all here to listen. That's what friends are for.
We love you <3
<3 I swear, you are one of the greatest people I've ever gotten to know.
DeleteYou, Reachie, and the rest of the brigade of friends on DA are the first close online friends I made too.
Idk the only time I can really talk to my friends in person nowadays is at lunch. At least there's lunch, so that's good I guess. And yeah, I text them and Skype/FaceTime then occasionally.
I really appreciative your serious and supporting comments. <3
*them
DeleteYa fam. I'm goin to talk to you to cos why not. It really makes me feel good that you and Mutant really hold me in the highest standard ..like you know my drawings, writings, just me and general and most of the time I feel like a bad friend to you guys because I don't talk to you enough and I have trouble commenting on things (because I'm awkward; in moods lately for the most part).
ReplyDeleteBut seriously Cutepups. You're a million bucks. Idk why, but I love looking at your blog posts like a 100 times a day and it's lots of times better than looking at my homework. LOL but seriously tho, man, you're not alone in this. I feel a lot of the same things you do and you letting your feelings out to me (well all of us, but you know what I mean) honestly means to me that you care about us enough to tell us and that alone is enough. : ). Literally all I can say is just live in the moment, because that's all you have right now. It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling. But everything's gonna be ok. We're gonna be like online blogger moms when we grow up and blog about parenty things. =*> But anyways I think you're pretty smart because I OF COURSE cannot figure out Spanish and band like stuff so that alone puts you in a higher standard than me (I'm super bad at that stuff LOL) but anyways kid. You're super amazing. I can't make you feel better but you're 100% swag.
Your comment also means so much to me. <3
DeleteYeah, I also ask myself in my head if you and these other online friends are "real" and actually my friends even though we don't know each other irl. (what)
That's true, but you're in higher level classes than me. (Same with some if my friends.. stupid few points off. >:I)
I love you as more than a friend to be honest. More like a younger far-from-home sister.
Ok I'm odd, bye.