I'm so very sorry (voice)

I am procrastinating.

I almost was going to type up a new chapter, but then I was like "lol nah, I'll post this instead".

I'm not going to even put context for this post. I'm so very sorry. Free time with me.. featuring Thelma the punk tuxedo cat.

Warning: Some noises might damage your ears due to the horrific sounds Thelma and I make.

Thelma makes noises that makes others believe she is injured, but fear not for she is not hurt. She likes saying "ow".

You have been warned.

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http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dZ9biH48e4

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1h3xVPXHAlm

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0nDIOLEX1o6

http://vocaroo.com/i/s05s9Pmfje1v

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PamHtFmUVv (meow-singing a song I do not own.. guess the song name correctly and i give you prize *hint- this one is from an anime.. such tragedy)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1TeI95qCTBz (oh wait that's not Thelma, that's my other cat)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0KX6YYkXdE6 (meow-singing another song I do not own.. I do not own any songs actually.. guess the song name correctly and i give you prize *hint- this is one of my favorite songs right now.. i like listening to sad-like songs.. wow am i weird)

Yeah, haha, singing those parts of the songs in English? Hahahahahaha, you're funny. Very funny, Billybob. I see you over there, Helen. I see you all. Actually, I don't. But still.

I'm sane, I promise. I just.. yeah, weird things.. when I'm alone at home.. and bored. Yeah.. haha hope I didn't make any of your ears bleed. That would be bad.

So.. why I'm doing these awful posts? Well, because I'm out of any other ideas. And because I always wanted to post about saying the characters' names in Twinkle's Story correctly.. aka the way I do. Well, if you speak English anyways.. haha yeah. And I have recently discovered this vocaroo site. So yeah. Perfect.

Or maybe it's because I'm growing to be more and more lonely, I have paranoia* (or other word.. idk) that I'm "fake" to you online guys to how things are with everything about me, some other bloggers constantly revealed their voices so why not, you can't find me or anything like that irl just from hearing my voice, and.. those reasons will come another day.

Just.. if/when things go bad.. or if/when I leave here and those other sites you might know me on too.. well.. um.. ...

I hate having this sense that I'm "fake".. that you guys view me that way. I can't really explain what that means, I'm sorry. I want to be viewed as "real", or at least a person.. a female teenage person.. and not somebody I'm not. I've made mistakes in the past, including on here, and.. well.. I want people to believe me. Haha, that's stupid.. I know. And speaking? That makes those feelings of "fakeness" and "being divided" subside a little.

I'm not faking what happened, what I'm feeling, how I'm feeling when I'm upset. The day I leave here for a long time, or perhaps forever, I want to be believed that I'm not being sinister and manipulative (which I kinda have paranoia* you believe I am that way in some of my posts).

Because when I leave for good, I won't come back. I hate thinking that I'm dull and lying by just typing words. I would like to say goodbye, so it's more "real" to me. More believable that I'm stating the truth. The final goodbye.

And speaking makes that paranoia* subside. Just a little. But still. It reassures me. Stresses me too.. sure. But that's my feelings on a whole lot of other things, too. So.. oh well.

Whew, that escalated quickly. Don't worry, I won't leave for a really long time. Most likely.

Maybe I'll always stay. Maybe I'll leave tomorrow. Maybe I just want to be remembered as "Cutepups the blogger", and not as "just that person I knew online and became kinda friends with when I was younger".

I suck at explaining how my brain works with thinking such things. I want to be real, believable, and remembrable to you I guess.

Haha, stupid thinking, right?

I know, I'm sorry.

Bye.

~ Cutepups

PS: Telling me other and better posting ideas would be highly appreciated. Preferably new ones I haven't done before. Thanks.