Important + !

I am done. I'm quitting that. Not forever, mostly likely, but for the next few weeks, hopefully. It will be great if I can confidently say forever, but we both know that's not true. When I will, I am going to try to type it poetically instead of straightforward. Maybe even draw. I'm going to try to not type it as simple words now.

I am done. That vent trash from the past few months is behind me now. I have grown from part of it; I have been knocked down from part of it. All parts, however, have affected who I am today. Mostly bad, but there were also a few good things. I won't go into it that much. I'll just say it has improved my writing/plans for writing, and it has improved how I view myself as a person.

I am done with making myself suffer day after day, week after week, and month after month. I still have to learn to let it be, that change happens. Life happens. And that's okay. Feelings are okay. Feeling happy? Great! Feeling angry, sad, lonely, empty, hopeless, paranoid, sick, etc., etc.? That's okay, too. It is okay to let out feelings. But let it take over your life and trap you inside yourself like a living hell you can't escape from, and you have no idea why you're being this way? That isn't really okay. I've been, and still am honestly, like that. But if I keep thinking and acting that way, well.. it's gonna kill me. Being all negative is my go-to most of the time (mainly just in my head so no one else knows). But if I ditch the positives, I swear it's gonna kill me.

So this is why I'm here. I am going to try my best (I mean it this time) to be happy. Not overanalyze and suffer over the little things in life. Finding happiness is fairly easy. But believing it, feeling the happiness truthfully, has been pretty difficult for me as of late. A part of me is dying because of this. I'm messing myself bad because of this. I can't help these feelings in all honesty, but I can't keep it up anymore. I need more positivity in my life. Not from others, I get plenty of that, but from myself.

And what better reason to do that than leaving the countless vents in the back and starting over with positivity and happiness in my posts? It will make myself feel better, and I believe it will make you guys feel better too.

No more vents. I am going to be happy. I will try, anyways.

On other news, I am starting to become complete fandom trash. I really want to start drawing fan-art from the fandoms I like. Discuss them with you guys if you watch/read/listen to them too. That seems something I'll be interested in doing. Haha yeah.

Constantly posting this negativity makes me feel like I'm dying. So I have now decided on, well.. Screw that, I am not going to allow myself to keep this up until I die. I am going to live. I am going to be happy, not sad. Sure, it is hard for me to completely not feel anxious and depressed*, but I am going to try to control it and not take over my life like how it's done in months prior to this one.

Take care, stay safe, and have another photo from the flower show.

Goodbye. <3

-- Cutepups ~☆~