Well...

Hey guys. ^-^'

About yesterday, yeah.. don't leave me alone when I'm bored while forcing myself to make a more happy post even though I forgot how to make happy posts at this point. Because.. yeah.. that happened. 

I honestly forgot how to blog well a long time ago. Good, happy posts.. I don't know what to do because I'm out of ideas. So yesterday's awful posts happened. Because, haha, I don't know how to appeal to audiences anymore. 

But enough on that. Nobody guessed, so it shouldn't be a big deal to you guys anyways. Oops sorry. Cutepups is trash.

I messed up again. Really bad. I strayed away from my academic priorities for too long. That's stressing me, "friends" stuff is stressing me, blogging is stressing me.. I honestly don't know what isn't at this point. Goddamnit, I screwed up again. I really do have to be on here, and those other sites you might know me on, less often. Maybe leave completely for a little while. Ugh, I don't know anything anymore except that everything either disappoints me or that I disappoint everybody. Honestly, I'm only still here because...

I don't know anymore. You guys just brighten up my day. You guys make me feel less alone. Because, especially now, I feel like I have nobody.. not going to go into that, but things happened. But.. ugh.. I feel that still being here contributes to how I'm ruining my own life. Ahem, school stuff, ahem. 

Goddamnit.. I just can't stay happy, can't I? No, of course not. All I know is I keep on making the same mistakes, I messed up really badly because of it, I'm more alone than ever, and I have to quit this unhealthy obsession of being on here and those other sites so often.

Ugh.. I feel so alone. You guys make me feel less alone. I have to access here and those sites less often. Life is rough, everyone I know is better, and everything makes me want to (figuratively.. literally?) cry. 

I'm gonna hate myself for this. I know I am. I also know I can't hold on.. I can't keep this up.. I'm ruining my own life at this point. 

School is hell for me, but I gotta take care of that first before anything else. Besides my health, I guess. But definitely instead of these online things. It sucks, but it's true. I learned the hard way.. time and time again. 

I'm sorry, everyone. Goodbye.

~ Cutepups