cold day

Hey. It's cold. Single digits. Cold.

Um. I'm typing this under my blankets. I feel warm now.

Anyway. Hope you're enjoying seeing the puppies. They're all cuties.

Um. Ok.

For 2017 I'm trying to be more positive and feel less toxic in my posts.

That's good, right?

But that doesn't mean I believe every positive thing is true. I don't know if they are. I'm hoping they're true.

I still can't stand myself.

I just. Why. Ever like. Why.

To people outside the family, I don't even talk anymore. I mean I do. But like. In a friend type of way. Not as much.

I hate having little to no social skills.
I want to talk to people again. But it's been a while. And I'm scared to now.

I miss talking to some people.

I hate how everyone irl is outgoing and hangs out with their friends at least once a week.

I hate how I'm different.

I want to. But I can't.

I'm so lonely compared to everyone else I know irl.

It sucks.

Staying home on weekends with no friends to go to.

Being insulted for not being social.

It all sucks.

I don't even trust people that much to allow myself to have another close friend again.

Same old story of things moving on and going away.

Life is so boring.

Same old, same old.

Every day is a slight variation of each other.

This is life, I guess.

Gotta deal with it.

Somehow.