I forgot to include something, a few posts back. Besides writing posts, I also want to post drawing posts and type about my awesome cruise vacation I was on (still having the occasional dream about it, smh).
And look at that. This post isn't going to be about any of those things. Well, in the technical sense.
I'm so sorry for bringing back the story hell. Ah heck.
So let's begin! ;)
(I'll be discussing Chapter 55 and might swear (end me))
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*chews gum and tries to be cool*
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) >:)
(so evil)
Ok, ok.
I forgot to bring this up before, so I'll say it now. (viewers be like "oh god pls no") . Duke has sunglasses now. I accidentally made him swag in canon. (viewers be like "why cutepups why stop with the swag").
No, the swag is always here on this god awful blog.
(Screw it, this is gonna be another post where I ramble on about Duke dick shit.)
Anyway. I'm not that sure if it really affected anyone, but the reason why the publish times for the recent chapters is early (like 7 or 8 pm) is because I'm typing chapters on my iPad now instead of on my computer. I constantly tap on "save" to ensure my post is saved and is a draft. On the iPad, the first time I tap that "save" button is the time that appears for when this post is published.
In real time, I finished typing Chapter 54 and 55 around 3 to 4 and a half hours later than the time that appears. So yeah. Hope that clears up any confusion. If you have any.
I did the same thing for this post. Haha yeah.
I'm trying to draw specific scenes from Chapter 55. But here's the thing. It's so hard to draw. I just can't seem to draw any characters good enough.
I'm trying to draw when Fierdan is telling Duke, "Being killed is not the only way someone can die." Ugh, drawing them how I imagine them in my head is so freaking hard, man. It's incredible. I can't even draw my own characters. What a fool I am.
Arms and hands (paws) in specific positions is so hard to draw. Drawing the very specific facial expressions I want is hard. Drawing hair is hard. Ok. Everything is hard.
I mean that for any character. Not just them. But how they are in that scene I'm thinking is difficult to draw due to all those reasons. Um ok lol.
Oh man, I really like that quote I suddenly typed when writing the chapter. "Being killed is not the only way someone can die." It doesn't sound that great if it has no context. But in the story context, I just really like this quote I made.
Like of course being killed isn't the only way someone can die. Old age, for example, is a way someone can die without being killed. But in the story, Duke thinks he can only die if he gets killed (by himself or another person, is the question). And Fierdan's saying he can die in ways other than getting killed.
This might get deep, guys. Bare with me.
Fierdan hasn't truly died. I mean he technically did (first one; the second one is the one who's active in the story) but not without coming back. And yet he's giving off this vibe that he knows ways to die in a more complex form than Duke. I mean, yeah, Fierdan killed lots of people in the past. But I mean something different.
Uh, I'll just say it. Duke is mainly thinking about ways to die physically. Fierdan is telling him that people can die emotionally too. But dying physically is literally while dying emotionally is not. So what I'm trying to say is Fierdan didn't physically die, but he died emotionally hundreds of times. And he's also reminding Duke that he too died emotionally before.
As well as all that, Fierdan is telling Duke that he can physically die in a way other than being killed. What does he mean by that? I'll just keep it a mystery for now.
Ok, enough of this deep stuff.
Gosh, look at Fierdan and that character development right there. Ten chapters ago, he was a scared and inferior little thing. Now he's past that. Controlling Soulless and Duke now.
Duke and Fierdan. I love my death-obsessed bad emo boys. They're both very bad characters (always trying to hide the fact that they're both technically anti-heroes; so manipulative smh). I hate them. I love them.
By the way, I have so many sketches (all looking terrible) of Duke and Fierdan (it depends on each drawing) having them either be. Half-naked or, well, naked (end me pls, dang that lowkey nsfw).
(viewers be like "holy shit bad post what sins")
Oh dang. My foot kinda hurts.
I also made Twinkle say her stomach hurts because every time I write a romance scene (kiss scene) I feel like. Oh boy heck man! And then my stomach starts kinda hurting. And yet here I am continually making these scenes. (end me)
I'm also trying to draw a scene from Twinkle's POV. When she's dreaming about dancing alone or with Duke (yeah ok he's that guy, smh). But like. Drawing them in those positions is hard. Drawing Twinkle's dress and hair how I would like is hard. And if I include Duke in it, then drawing him would be hard too.
Random fact time. I got the sudden idea for that scene when I was in the art museum I went to on Wednesday. With a few other people and myself, we entered this fashion gallery. It was playing this music that sounded kinda mysterious and from a piano. This gallery displayed dresses from the 1700s to 2016 from all over the world. And in a previous gallery we were in, we saw this dance theme. It had these small sculptures of people dancing in specific positions. So tie that all together, and you have me daydreaming about the scene in Twinkle's POV for days.
I was originally going to end Duke's POV when the car stopped driving. But then I was like. Screw it, I'll just write it all out for one chapter. Boy, did a lot happen in his POV. Haha yeah.
The sooner I finish this story for good, the better.
Anyway, if any of you are asking, I don't know why either. Why is Duke so obsessed with dying now? Where did all that come from? I'm sorry, I forgot. It makes it closer to the story being over. That's all I've got.
And why is Calliah suddenly not acting abusively to Duke? Does Duke believe her? All these questions that I don't know how to answer.
He's so complicated. God damn, Duke.
Oh yeah. I always forget that Duke and Twinkle (and some other characters too, but I especially mean those two) are only 14 years old. Every time I write a chapter or even just think about them (this goes for Duke especially), I always imagine them being 17 year olds. And that Duke won't live when he's 18 instead of 15. But if I edit their ages, the story feels even more weird.
He's 17 in my mind. At least. At this point, it's just about impossible for me to imagine him as being younger than me.
And Fierdan is between the ages of 17 and 24. But now I mainly think of him being 19. Older than Duke. Ok this is complicated. I know. Sorry.
This is how I see it. When I was in my random blogging phase, Duke was 14. But now that I'm older and a more mature awful blogger, Duke isn't as random.
This is confusing lmao. My writing style sure has changed. Less randomness. More sadness. Haha, growing up is fun!
Bye lol.
~ Cutepups (what a fool they are)
PS: #dukeusespeopleclub
He is evil.
His good writing skills in his POV (I like writing his POVs the most) try to hide the fact that he's more bad than good.
I still love all my characters though. (Ok maybe Risak and Admiral are exceptions.)
Ok bye.
Thanks for reading. <3
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