I just want to inform you all of some things.
And, before I begin, yes. This is probably gonna be published at 8 something. And yes, I'm very tired right now. I'm always tired when I post something.
So, um, sorry.
I removed the Daily Puppy gadget. It stopped updating. I don't want to keep a gadget called "Cute Pup of the Day" if a new puppy doesn't show up every day. It's pointless to keep it then.
I found this other puppy gadget on Blogger, but I don't like how it looks. The picture of the puppies are smaller, they change the puppies too often, and it also comes with ads. Yeah, no thanks.
Well, that was bad. The time I put the Daily Puppy back, it stops updating. Haha wow.
There's another thing too. Sorry everyone.
If I'm only going to post positive things and no negativity (*cough* vents *cough*), then I won't be able to post daily. Then I will be making lots of small breaks on here.
It's bad to be negative. I'm sorry I can't stop. I'm so neurotic. I don't believe cute little positivity things I see on the internet that easily. I pretend to. It doesn't really work though. Websites help more though.
This week has been so long. Tomorrow's Friday. Half day. No school on Monday. Field trip on Wednesday. Whatever.
I'm not happy right now. I don't know how to make a happy post when I'm not.
Here's a list of good things in life:
- dogs
- puppies
- cats
- kittens
- baby animals
- stuffed animals
- sky during sunrise
- sky during sunset
Yes, I'm such a child. Not at all like a normal stereotypical female teen. Better kill me now.
Oh and dream update. They still suck. I hate them. They're good but I hate them.
They're way too realistic and deep.
So many about school and school related things. I hate this.
I also had one about a family member I still miss a lot. Gee thanks brain.
I bet my dreams just want to remind me about how stressed and lonely I am. Damn it.
My mom and sister like to intentionally make me feel bad. I'm so annoyed at them. Then, bam, point out all my flaws and blame so much on me.
My dad only talks to me about the SAT or college.
I'm so lonely, but I never talk decently enough.
I get scared and sad too easily.
I'm not even doing the bare minimum in life.
Support people? Who? Where? How?
I can't even talk to them about my lack of friends. They already have blamed it on me. It's always my fault, right?
Haha, I feel like crap again.
Oh and I love being ignored. So fun. Gotta love it.
It's fun hearing someone say they treat any B grade (80-89) like a fail grade. So much fun. That person's smarter. Ok. Got it. Everyone I know is. Ok. Got it.
And it's fantastic hearing people laugh and excitedly say they're lonely and are gonna be forever alone. But, here's the catch, the people who say this are always around their friends. And they say they have nobody. Haha, oh man. Gotta love people. So much. Hate.
It's even more fun hearing them say they have anxiety attacks and cry themselves to sleep each night. And they say it all like a big joke.
Mmhm. So much. Fun! I can't stand it!
I constantly get told by my family that I won't have a good life and future because I have troubles socializing with people (including my own family, yes).
Better die then? That's what I see them hinting at.
There are good things in life. I know that. But if I can't even do the bare requirement of talking to other people, how the hell am I supposed to be able to do all those good things? Yeah, what then?
I'm talking about when I'm an adult. Which is in less than 2 years.
Yeah. You're all probably better than most people I have to be around on a daily basis.
Well, I don't know for sure.
Sorry for breaking the positive streak.
Bye.
Well, not all people are good at socializing.
ReplyDeleteAnd in a dog eats dog world, (what the heck am I saying) well, it's really hard to get by. I can barely talk to people. I suppose it's a learned effort, try to ask questions about how people are doing and throw in some stuff about your own info the mix. But honestly, idk how people do it. For a while, I guess you just have to not dwell too much on the sadness, and to just try to accept it for a while; it's there, it's bad, it sucks, but you are trying your best and ur gonna try to have fun in the moment. Idk, I watched a video. I think that's pretty inconsiderate - what your parents are doing, they probably just don't know what you're going through. So what- you're shy. Eventually you'll make some friends. (Eventually life has to change I guess lol.) Only uphill from here, right? Har har. Anyways, I'd like to talk. I'm just really bad at it.. haha. Feels like I'm comforting myself at this point. Idk Cutepups, you always feel bad when they talk to you that way, maybe it's their weird way of saying they don't want you to be alone... but idk... people can be insensitive. You might have to eventually talk about .. stuff .. with other people.
By the way, there's an app called 'SAT practice' it might help if you're worried about it. There's daily practice questions. Might ease some anxiety, idk. Also an app called 'CollegeGo' ..
ReplyDeleteI have a few SAT books with practice tests and I work on them daily or weekly. I'm worried about it, yeah, but it's more of getting motivated to actually go and study. And then there's improving my score.. I dunno.
Deleteoh yeah.. i see. well, it's a big test. it's not like you can study all the material (I'm not hahaha) that's still a lot of studying. if you're generally good at some subjects, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
DeleteOh gosh no, that seems like way too much work lol. I don't even know all the material yet (for math at least) but i gotta take it in early spring. (testing logic amirite). I'm better at the language and verbal sections, but they're still pretty tough.
Delete(i didn't read your first comment here yet and respond yet.. what am i doing)
Oh tru lol. When I did one of those pre-tests I understood like nothing on there that had to do with math. Gosh, I should probably study lol. Oh well. Well hopefully you'll do good on it. (Too lazy to log in to my account haha)
DeleteAh, well, thanks lol. I gotta study more.
Delete