Hey. It's me. As always. Well, it's Monday. Been quite a long day. Time to reflect on some things.
I woke up at 3 am. Yeah. That's me. Haha. I'm so tired right now.
Perfect time to start a post, am I right, fellas?
............. well anyway.
I have such a low self-esteem. Like, wow, it's incredible. Procrastinates on reading comments. Feeling like people are out to get me. Fear. All this fear. What for? I don't know.
Fear. Anger. Stress. Yet again, those feelings have gotten the better of me while typing up the last chapter.
I'm looking back at it. I thought I had enough ideas together to make a chapter. Doesn't really look that way to me now.
The news. Oh gosh, the news. So much anger and stress. With what's going on. Geez man, staying positive is hard work.
And then there's also me feeling inadequate in every aspect of my life. Then there's the criticism. Ahem, driving.
Got the papers about the dates of the AP exams. I'm scared. Gotta memorize so much info for this class.
Then there's also the SAT. Heh, big tests. Scary stuff.
2017 is gonna be a stressful year. Am I gonna feel angry and stressed every day for the next 4 years? When will it end? I don't know.
I've been feeling anxious all day. My stomach hurts a lot nowadays. It sucks.
Why, body, why.
I'm such a scared coward. Ugh.
I think I'll be so much better mentally if I actually have a plan for the future. Like ok. If I actually know what I would like to do, I feel that would solve most of my current problems.
I just want to know. Be good at something that could be beneficial to me.
I had such a vivid dream the other night. On that cruise ship. Big waves. Tipped over.
Ah yes. Another dream where I'm in a near-death experience. Great fun. Haha end my suffering.
This time I really am stuck on how to continue the story. Nice going, me.
It was stupid of me to type up a chapter when I've been experiencing the bad feelings (tm).
So, um, anxiety. Sometimes I get it and it's rational. Makes sense. Ok, got it. But gosh, it hurts too.
Tuesday is gonna be another long day.
Bye guys. Stay safe.
It's shaping up to feelin like a really long week. I wish I could do something to pretend I'm busy, and this is basically it. Oh, the calamity of having no friends at school. Got me some anxiety as well. Oh, got some tests/ a big horrible project I'm not looking forward to and probably will put off. And still, nobody to talk about it with lol. Well, actually, maybe. Haha, I think this comment gave me some insight. Got a lot of homework too. Life.. give me a break already. Haha, idk why I'm commenting this.
ReplyDeleteYeah with these assignments I'm getting, it feels like a long week. At least no tests for me this week. Not too sure about quizzes though. Having no actual friends in school is so boring but talking to people tires me out too, so ?? idk. I'm putting off a project as well. I don't want to work on this new one. Yeah..
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