1. Return of the Aches

[these numbered posts are going to be poems for napowrimo even though the month is already half over] 

———————————————

the body aches and pains returned 

to this shell of a body 

my damaged soul possesses. 

they’ve come to tear myself apart 

yet again.

is this déjà vu? 

last year’s april? 

i thought it finally ended.

i guess i was wrong. 

i have a desire 

to be thrown back 

into the fire. 

cast me down 

into a hell i don’t believe in.

just get rid of these

aches and pains. 

oh god, it hurts. 

maybe i deserve this. 

god will send me to hell

but i don’t believe. 

(i don’t believe

in anything at all.)

almost every body part

aches and aches and aches

just right.

i’ll rip off this 

pleasant human disguise

and you’ll find 

a monster underneath. 

i can’t pretend anymore. 

these lies are hurting my body.

i wish i could be human just like you.

oh god, notre dame is burning.

the world is burning.

everything is burning.

i hate mondays.

and tuesdays.

and every other day that ends in y.

but i really hate mondays. 

—————————

a poem i wrote very quickly to start things off.

i won't even pretend i wrote this on the 1st. it's pretty obvious i wrote this today (the 16th).

yeah idk. this one is just a bad mess. 

(of course i have to write about pain again- that's like my thing when it comes to my poetry!)