Huh. It's Saturday night. Today actually felt like a long day.
Maybe that's because I woke up early (before 8 am). Or maybe it's because the day started off cold and raining, and then it got warm and sunny in the afternoon.
Eh whatever, it doesn't really matter.
I went to a farm this morning. Did some community service work on the farm. It was rainy then, but it was nice being there.
We (the group I went with) picked up trash on the ground, picked up sticks (tree branches) off the ground and put them into piles, and used rakes to disturb the dirt (well, half of us did that including me while the other half covered the dirt with straw/hay).
Oh and we also tried some kale and green onion (which looked just like grass lol) that was being grown there. It was, uh.. interesting.
I'm in NY, close to NYC, and I went to a farm. Yeehaw yeet.
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Here is one post idea I have:
I first listened to this song at least a year ago, but only a week or so did I realize that it reminds me of Stella (oops, I mean my character who's known as Twinkle) so much.
So much so that I now believe it could be one of her main theme songs.
Like yeah sure, it's a song based on The Hunger Games, but whatever.
*cough* Stella theme song *cough*
And yes, I'm saying Stella because that's her real name. Her actual name isn't Twinkle. (ignore my old story junk, it's mostly inaccurate now. 'k thx.)
It's this song:
Gone~ Beth Crowley
Especially at the point of the song when she sings, "Fight or flight? Was the decision ever mine? It was never mine!" and then the instrumental part that immediately follows.
Oh. My. God. That part- yes! <3 <3
Haha, I keep on replaying that line. The more I do, the more I can imagine/"hear" Stella (aka Twinkle) singing it.
Not to be overdramatic, but this song summarizes everything I want her character to be. It reminds me of her so much. (holy shit...)
Just.. yes. Yes.
Oh and I don't just mean story 1 Twinkle. I mean her in story 2 and on as well.
Stella didn't choose her messed up, chaotic life circumstances which were thrown at her. She couldn't really choose "fight or flight" when she was walking out with her sister the day she died. She couldn't really do anything as the supernatural (? or whatever word I'll use) dark forces blinded her (and every other human nearby's) vision, which resulted in her sister's death. Then later on, the same dark forces nearly kill her. And by that, I mean what I called "phantoms" because AJ influence from back in the day (haha yeah.. there's none of that anymore).
Now have some more lyrics from the song and how they remind me of her.
"My greatest love is gone. He might as well have died. An imposter wears his face, one I barely recognize.": These lines remind me of how Twinkle feels about Duke throughout story 1. On multiple occasions. Duke and Twinkle get separated from each other quite a few times, huh. I'm not sure about "greatest love" but they both did bring meaning and reasons to live into each other's life. And before Duke's body literally dies, he's pretty much already dead. Ever since his mind has become even more chaotic (thanks @ Fierdan, you asshole) with his ability to produce black fire, the old Duke seems like someone that's become part of the past. Even though like.. Twinkle and Duke were only really talking and getting close with each other for a few months before that.. but whatever. And of course with Duke's descent into corruption and insanity, he pretty much can look like an "imposter" and someone Twinkle "barely recognizes" anymore.
"And something burns inside of me; anger eats me alive." Well, the emotions (yeah it's plural because I don't just feel "anger" from hearing it) resonate a lot with Stella, mainly starting from the second half of story 1. She becomes rather bitter and cynical, and it only grows as story 1 turns into story 2. She has every damn right to feel that way. After all the terrible shit she went through, of course she does. And on top of all that, she has the power to produce a combination of ice and fire. So, in a way, her anger can be fire, and it can literally be burning inside and consuming her from within.
The other "my greatest love" line reminds me a lot of her and Duke too.
Yeah.. now I'm too lazy to mention the other lyrics. But they do remind me of her. Just saying.
I can vividly picture Stella (Twinkle) singing this song to her "enemies" (not official story antagonists). People such as her parents, her school bullies, Taurel... and the antagonists/enemies of the main characters (the protagonists) in story 2 and on.
Now that I think of it, this song also reminds me a lot of Twinkle in the next chapter (Ch. 76). When will I write that chapter? I have no idea! Damn, I wish I had time to! Ha, ha.. ok that's pretty sad @ me.
I love her so much. Don't you dare forget that.
>:)
Ok bye.
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