I don’t hate myself because of my class today. :) XD
Cutepups lives.
Ok so anyway, this is not really kinda sorta a part 2 of yesterday’s shit skit post.
(I have so many post ideas stuck in my head from weeks ago, but I’m writing this which is an idea I got this afternoon.)
lmao weird flex but okay
————————-
[Description: Duke is in a room. Is it a jail cell? 50-50 chance. There are also rats being guards, and they are standing in a circle around Duke. At the same time, Duke is talking to kids who are sitting on the floor. None of this makes sense but go off I guess.]
Rat Guard 1: *talking to Duke* You can’t be on that level of content in your skit dialogue.
Duke: Ugh. Fine, fine.
Rat Guard 1: You have violated The Code, the children are offended by your words and actions, and you have failed to pay the approximately 6,600 coffee beans.
Duke: I don’t have over 6,000 coffee beans on me.
Rat Guard 2: Why don’t you have the coffee beans, Duke?
Duke: Why would I have 6,000 coffee beans on me anyways?
Rat Guard 3: Who doesn’t have 6,000 coffee beans on them?
Duke: Uh.. most people? That’s a lot of coffee beans.
Rat Guards: *frown at Duke, sigh*
Duke: Also, children pay attention to me? Do they not know anything about me? I’m not kid-friendly.
Rat Guard 1: *sighs* That doesn’t mean you can just discuss that type of content with an imaginary dead fish.
Duke: His name is Bob the Blobfish, get it right.
Random Kids: *are sitting on the floor in front of Duke* Ahem, we’re right here.
Duke: *finally notices the kids* Who invited them here?
Rat Guard 2: *crosses arms*
Duke: Are you guys trying to impose censorship on me? That’s not cool.
[Twinkle enters the scene, carrying a suitcase.]
Twinkle: I know where the 6,600 coffee beans that Duke owes you are, rat people!
Rat Guard 1: Ooh, where are they?
Twinkle: They’re in his assessment.
Rat Guard 3: His what?
Twinkle: His assassin.
Rat Guard 2: What?
Twinkle: Wait, do you rats not know what an assignment is? That’s so weird.
Duke: Oh my gosh, Twinkle, you can’t just say something like that. It violates The Code that the rats implemented.
Kid 1: What assessment did Duke take?
Kid 2: Wait, Duke, you have a personal assassin?
Kid 3: What assignment are we talking about?
Every other character: Uh...
[Awkward silence.]
Duke: *sighs* There are no coffee beans in my assassination. That never happened. Twinkle is telling lies.
Twinkle: *lifts suitcase* Okay, that’s it. Let’s just throw out the whole suitcase. *yeets it at Duke*
Duke: *gets hit in the head with a suitcase* Ow! What the funk!
Kid 1: What are you guys even saying? I can’t understand you.
Duke: Why did you hit me with a suitcase? Why do you even have one in the first place? Fork.. it hurts like hail!
Rat Guard 4: *rolls eyes* You’re facing the consequences of the Rat Police. Because of your skit dialogue, people could be thinking of your duck.
Kid 3: What? A duck? Where?
Kid 2: Yeah, I want to see a duck!
Rat Guards: *yell* No!
Kid 2: Aww, I like ducklings though. They’re cute.
Twinkle: I swear.. you’re all trying to kill me in these skits. I’m throwing out the whole suitcase. *pauses* Oh right, I already threw a suitcase at Duke.
Duke: Yeah, and it hurt a lot!
Twinkle: Ugh, shut up, you crybaby.
Duke: Nah. *pauses* And like I said, I’m not a kid-friendly character at all. Like.. at all. I basically walk around with a mature filter on. So the fact that kids can see me makes me feel strange.
Rat Guard 4: You’re barely an adult.
Duke: I’m not a child now, you dumb assumption.
Twinkle: *rolls eyes*
Duke: Also, like, I made several six you all references in the past. So what’s wrong with me talking to a blobfish about my dock?
Rat Guard 2: You just can’t do that!
Duke: That’s censorship!
Rat Guard 3: Strangers don’t want to think about your dank and assault. In fact, no one does.
Twinkle: Oh my Dog. Stop bringing it up. You’re just making it worse. Look at me. I’m crying on the inside.
[V0iD]
Let’s just throw out this whole skit suitcase.
Yeet!
*PFFT* Haha! The little rat guards in my head were so adorable and miffed at Duke; high-pitched sighs and angry little huffs.. (they just wanted some coffee, Duke, let the poor things have their caffeine-fix!)
ReplyDeleteAnd Twinkle yeeting the suitcase at Duke's head was spot on! Good thing no one heard me laugh at that.. X)
(Not to mention all the censored swearing and word-replacement was pretty good too XD)
The rats are so cute and tiny (because they’re rats). And it’s even more funny when I realized that Duke.. he’s having a hard time with animals, it seems. First, he’s arguing about cursed content with a long-dead blobfish whom he believes to be immortal. (who or whom? idk). Then he’s being interrogated by rats who are dressing up as (prison?) guards. (oof-)
DeleteTwinkle was just like “yeet!” and that made the skit worth it.
Ahahaha, thanks! I did it on purpose (obviously) and wrote them in with the first words that came to mind that would fit. :’D
... I think Blogger won’t let me comment with my Google account despite me being signed in because my profile pic is of Duke and he’s a cursed bad boy. Blogger knows....