Duke ... pfft boy

Uh, I gotta make this quick. 

I’m gonna talk about the skits at the start of this month. (sorry again lmao)

My brain literally just now thought of this lol:

Viewers: I thought this blog was rated G for Gecko, but those skits are rated R for Rat. Hmm, that’s problematic! :/ 

Like yes duh of course you guys believe G stands for gecko....

Actual Viewers: Cutepups, please stop....

Anyway.. back on my bs with my dirty (Duke (sorry, buddy)) humor! ;D 

So, hmm.. Duke.. he’s having a hard time with animals, it seems. Give this guy a break. Geez. 

First, he’s arguing about cursed content with a long-dead blobfish. When I was reading articles about blobfish and similar species on science websites, I learned that they live far below the ocean’s surface (close to the bottom) and because of the change of pressure from down there to at land (sea?) level, their insides get messed up and get spat out of their mouths at the ocean surface. So, in other words, taking a blobfish out of water would kill it. 

So then we have Duke arguing/fighting an obviously dead blobfish. But he believes Bob the Blobfish is immortal, so he can live despite not being at the bottom of the ocean. In fact, maybe Duke made Bob the Blobfish up (a sick kind of imaginary friend perhaps?). 

And just.. what they look like. Dang, that’s comedy gold. There’s Bob the Blobfish who looks like a dead blobfish (ugly, flat, round, smooth, pink). Then there’s Duke. And I picture him being much taller than Bob the Blobfish (never mind the rats lmao). So, ahem, why the heck is Duke talking to a blobfish? What the heck is with him? Huh, Duke is a weirdo. 

Like ok.. just imagine a young adult guy whose between 5’6” and 5’8” in height arguing with a dead fish. And the conversation is getting heated. ........ aren’t you laughing yet? 

I also started imagining Bob the Blobfish having a posh British accent. So that’s just great. 

And then after that, Duke is being interrogated or whatever by rat people. Rats.. they’re pretty small. They’re much smaller than Duke (who is a weird ‘human’ creature). 

I pictured the rats walking on their hind feet and holding teeny tiny clipboards in their front paws. Oh and that they were wearing royal blue uniforms. 

Ok the rats are very cute. They’re just squeaking as they talk, and they’re being so bossy to Duke.. like yes that’s just comedy gold to me. 

And and and—

How the rats controlled the language filter, so any “bad language” was replaced by other words. Yeah haha, I did that on purpose with the first words that came to mind that would fit. 

I had fun with that lmao. 

But what made it even funnier was that while I was typing the first word for it, autocorrect turned the “ass____” word into “asshole” and I was like ahh no I’m avoiding That Word and yeah I thought it was hilarious. 

And after I finished the post, I realized I wrote this:

Rat Guard 3: Strangers don’t want to think about your dank and assault. In fact, no one does.

Oh.. oh my gosh. wtf,, XD 

That’s going a little too far, rat guard. 

I couldn’t think of any other words that start with “ass____” so I used “assault” for that word and omg—

Duke and his dank and assault. And the rat was just like, “no one wants to think about your assault” which made me think of my older-recent skits where Duke spent whole skits just ranting/rambling/venting about his assault/trauma to people like Help Person. 

Which then made me think, “ouch. that’s pretty rude to say, rat person.” 

Also.. I keep on laughing at these alternative swear word lines:

Twinkle: They’re in his assessment. 

Twinkle: His assassin. 

Twinkle: Wait, do you rats not know what an assignment is? That’s so weird. 

Duke: *sighs* There are no coffee beans in my assassination.

Duke: *gets hit in the head with a suitcase* Ow! What the funk! .... Fork.. it hurts like hail! 

Duke: I’m not a child now, you dumb assumption. .... So what’s wrong with me talking to a blobfish about my dock? (I love how I used ‘assumption’ and ‘dock’ here. Because- the rat is kinda assuming Duke is still like a child/immature, and fish and docks go together? uh.. yeah sure lol.)

So sorry for the dirty Duke humor. Not sure why I suddenly thought of making those kinds of skits on and right after April Fool’s Day. Pfft. 

Ahh, I really have to go now! Heck...

Bye! :•)