1. The Art of Falling Apart

Finally- actual poetry! 

---------------------------

disclaimer: 

don't get the wrong idea,

this is not art.

there is nothing beautiful 

about falling apart. 

it's just that 

"art" rhymes with "apart"

the only difference is the 

addition of "ap" before "art" 

as if "ap art" really means 

"falling, growing, tearing- apart." 

but this isn't a piece of artwork,

these are only words on a screen. 

words themselves can never

call themselves beautiful. 

so now here's the story of how i fell apart

which ends with the loss of my heart. 

i. skin: 

the first chapter in the story of falling apart 

starts with your skin. 

you sweat when you feel cold,

you're burning when you're freezing,

your face always feels wet

a sticky, uncomfortable, type of wet

that never goes away no matter how many times

you wash, dry, and repeat. 

and as an added bonus,

you also get the 

scratches, bruises, and black-and-blue marks 

but you don't remember where they came from. 

ii. eyes:

the second chapter in the story of falling apart 

is all in the eyes. 

your eyes feel dry,

you're in a brightly lit room 

and your eyes start to burn. 

it hurts, it burns, bring over some water

please. 

you can't see well in the light anymore,

so you adjust by seeing through the darkness.

but on the other side of the dark is the light,

and then your eyes start burning again. 

then before you know it, 

it's picture day for you. 

when you stare at the camera,

you smile

but eyes are the windows to the soul.

when the pictures arrive you realize 

the pictures don't lie 

they never do. 

you could have the widest smile

but it means nothing in the end. 

the look in your eyes is 

distant, empty.

you see it in pictures of yourself 

and when you stare at your own reflection. 

you try so hard to fake happiness 

but your eyes don't lie like your mouth can. 

you're not happy,

you haven't been happy for a long time. 

and now it's really starting to show. 

iii. mouth:

the third chapter in the story of falling apart 

deals with the mouth. 

your mouth isn't half as honest as your eyes are

because every time you speak, 

lies fly out.

little white lies-

"i'm fine"

"it's okay"

"don't worry about me"

"leave me alone"

"i don't care" 

"i hate you"

flutter like black and white butterflies and moths 

out of the web you constructed in your throat. 

that's why it's so hard to speak what you mean-

the words get caught in the web

and when they finally escape, 

they're all mixed up and you forget 

what you wanted to say in the first place. 

words are flies and lies rhymes with flies, 

there's a spider web deep in your throat 

which results in your inability to breathe

let alone speak,

and black and white butterflies and moths 

fly out of your mouth. 

flies turned into butterflies, 

but they turned cruel and changed their name to moths. 

that's not how this chapter ends though.

the last step is you physically feel it.

you feel your mouth being in a permanent frown 

that quivers at the slightest word said to you.

your mouth isn't even frowning though 

it's not smiling either. 

you're not doing anything with your teeth, 

but they ache and you feel someone pulling down 

the corners of your inner lips 

into a frown you can't escape from. 

iv. ribs:

the fourth chapter in the story of falling apart 

involves the inner you underneath all that skin. 

your ribs shift and adjust

and it's borderline painful. 

it feels like your ribs are bigger than your body, 

and they want to poke out of it

to see the outside world for themselves. 

your ribs want to crack and break into 

your heart and lungs.

it hurts so much,

stardust isn't found inside 

broken, cracked bones

it's far more uglier than that. 

your body is shrinking 

or maybe it's just your mind. 

and your heart and lungs ache for something 

because they feel too painfully empty 

just like the rest of you.

your ribs poked into your organs and 

hollowed them out for their own selfish gain. 

that's why you feel physically empty 

all the way down to your core. 

it's because there's nothing left

of your mind, 

your lungs, 

or your heart. 

there's a widening hole in your chest

because falling apart ends with 

the stealing of your heart. 

but this is no love story,

you stole and broke your own heart. 

but here's the worst part: 

that's not even half of it.

this is only about physically falling apart,

but don't forget. 

you can fall apart in other ways,

so remember that. 

the physical signs are just the beginning-

you fall apart more than just once

and in ways more painful than you would have ever expected. 

so take it from me: 

don't fall apart. 

because even if you start to heal, 

you'll always be missing something. 

and you won't realize what you lost 

until it's too late.