hey uhh hhhhh uh

Me: *wakes up and checks blog* Why the HECK did I post that?!

Viewers: .... ... .. . umm wtf-

Anxiety: *intensifies* 

Hi, I'm very sad and stressed and unable to focus on studying. How are you? 

Sorry for the way-too-many-details about all that kind of stuff. I feel bad about writing it like that. Oops haha. 

Duke.. he's had it rough. I'm terrible to him. I hate myself too. 

Important hey important please read: 

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

Haha! I am a disappointment and failure! XD 

... those last two posts sound way too sexual and i am disgusted with myself. 

hhhhngghh. those sex ideas.. BAD. they r kiddos. g0d FucKING DAMn it, my CURSEd midNight bRaIN!!!1!1!?1??1!!:/!

my brain be switching back and forth like: sex neutral it's fine whatever all is good in the hood And Then To sex REPULSED YOU MUST BE STOPPED aaaaaughhh my stomach is DYINGGG 

Yeah. 

Every other Blogspot blog: *functions like an actual blog*

Me on my Blogspot blog: *is like this*

Hahahahaha so funny!!!! XD 

Me: *living that College Life TM- slurping cheap ramen noodles* 

Lab final- check complete

Drama final- check complete 

Math final- ohohoho! 8 am tomorrow! wahoo! (me: *dies tomorrow due to being a failure and disappointment*)

Lecture final- monday 

Intro to Lit final- tuesday 

Then the semester is over!!! :D 

No offense but I might just go off and die somewhere tomorrow. 

I've been making these story and skit posts, so you'll be in The Know. Now you know all my shitty story thoughts. And now there are even more valid reasons why people on the internet hate me. It's great! 

Forgot to mention. But like. Duke doesn't get drunk Every Time he steals and drinks alcohol. That's only sometimes. I'm thinking he would've used to steal and drink around 2 or 3 times a week, maybe get drunk one of those nights. Uh.. I'm a dumbass who shouldn't be talking about this. 

I'm still haunted by not knowing if those two fucked up scenarios count as sexual harassment or assault. I'm a dumbass. Help. 

Me: *just writes about Fierdan (Danny?? Dan?? wtf is this guy's name) having a boyfriend* 

Viewers: That is.. a concept. Wow. Cryptic. 

Anyway, from my 2017 skits onward, Fierdan does not and can not scream I Am A Straight. It just.. no. 

I love my problematic boys who have killed people in canon way too much, and I actually hate myself for that too. 

I wanted to sleep since 7, but I have to study for math which will literally murder me tomorrow morning. 

Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!! 

I mean, like.. why would I write about flashback scenes (@ Duke POV) if I don't mention them again at a later point in the story? Umm.. significance, sweeties. 

The Structure of Narrative is important. I took a theater appreciation (drama) class this semester. I need to make my trainwreck of a story be a, well, proper story! 

My story is way too complicated. I don't get it. Who even is/are the antagonist/s? I.. uh.. fuck it, I'll give it a try. 

Protagonist: Twinkle. Duke? Dawn?? Ardere??? Uhhhh.......

Antagonist: Calliah? Fierdan?? Z! Soulless! Duke?? Risak? Taurel! Umm......

Disruption 1: Twinkle's sister died. Twinkle's parents blame Twinkle for her sister's death. 

Disruption 2: Twinkle goes to hospital after field trip because supernatural creatures attacked her there. She wakes up in hospital to blue hair due to her Elemental Power. Oh and a part of her lower spine that's right above her butt is messed up, so she has to wear a brace now too. 

Disruption 3: Duke is there. Why is he even there? He becomes friends with Twinkle, but then they unofficially become boyfriend-girlfriend..? I don't get it. 

Disruption 4: Duke is a fucked up tragic disaster boy! Fierdan connection?? Ooh, Duke has a Thing for his blood. Mm tasty. Blood. Yum. He wants to kill everyone and everything. He's in a conflict with himself. ?????? 

Disruption 5: Dawn!! Who is she?? 

Disruption 6: Taurel and Risak want to torture the Duke Fierdan! Ah heck! But it's ok because Finny comes to his senses, and Calliah screws them (not Finny) over. Calliah.. Duke.. it's complicated. 

Disruption 7: Duke's father wanted to murder Duke. Calliah killed him though. Why is there so much murder in this dysfunctional family?? 

Disruption 8: Sweet sunshine lightning boy dies. Duke is devastated. Five Stages of Grief. 

Disruption 9: Duke gets tortured and loses his humanity. Duke kills a man. Duke does very violent actions to the other man but does not kill him. Killing is merciful. Not killing is not. Duke has no mercy. He gives zero fucks at this point. 

Disruption 10: Duke's sing-along-time friend dies. Then Duke fucking dies. Fierdan is there and says hello. Soulless has been exterminated. Fierdan.. yes. 

Resolution: Everyone in the main character squad is traumatized. The end. 

That's what I got so far. 

I can't believe I never got to writing the chapters that lead up to and include Duke's torture arc. I've been thinking about it for so long that I think I already wrote it. Like a year ago. But no. I have not. 

Dang, that messed me up. 

kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me 

I'm not strong enough. I can't do this. I'm sorry. 

Bye.