for angel (omg why)

A skit sh!t post for my pal, Angel. :3

They came up with a skit idea for me, and this will break my deep Duke themed posts. 

Curses, Angel, curses. >:0

They apparently like Duke being n/-s/-f/w at his job at the coffee shop. (it stands for not safe for work, and Duke is not safe for work by his.. actions, so.)

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Sparkle: Uh.. didn't he get fired?

Twinkle: Oh, I thought he quit.

Dawn: Well, apparently he didn't.

[The three of them groan and sit around a round table at one side of the coffee shop, near the windows. At the other side of the coffee shop is the counter that the employees work behind during their work shifts. Behind the counter is Duke in his job uniform this time with the small worker's hat on his head. He holds up a paper and looks confused.]

Duke: *tilts head while staring at paper* Finny?

Finny: What is it?

Duke: This isn't a coffee order.

Finny: Then what is it?

Duke: It's fanmail for me. 

[Duke then reads the message to Finny.]

Paper: Hello, I'm a big fan! I loved that time you were at this coffee shop. I love this coffee shop, mm slurp. *emojis of a frog and a cup of coffee* Can you do something for me? Ok thanks. I want you to work with the coffee beans and the coffee grinder again. Do that again because it's comedic gold! *emoji of a laughing crying face* Anyway, I love you. Bye! - A

Finny: What kind of name is A? That's only one letter.

Duke: I don't know, but I don't trust this person. *crumples up paper and tosses it into the recycling bin*

[~ the Void ~ uhhh ummm .....................]

[Hours have passed. The coffee shop is closed. Everyone else thought Duke left with the rest of the workers, but he didn't. Duke is in the back room, organizing the coffee beans and cups.]

Duke: *sings in the tune of a song while he does this organization stuff* So why am I alive? Is there a reason for me? What else can be found? What is Cutepups singing?

[A blinding white light suddenly appears, which makes Duke temporarily lose his eyesight. He stumbles and falls. When he can see again, he is sitting on the floor awkwardly. Oh and where the heck did his pants go?]

Duke: *rubs eyes and tries to get up but fails* What happened? Is anyone there? *slips when he tries to stand up again* Ow.. *places hand on his right shin* Ow!

[Then a mysterious character grabs Duke and moves to a different location.]

Duke: *opens eyes and finds himself lying on his back on a cot* 

Mysterious: *eyes look angry yet their voice is emotionless* Why did you stay late at the coffee shop only to twerk and break your shin?

Duke: *sits up on cot* Wait, what are you talking about?

Mysterious: You were found lying on the floor of the coffee shop with your hand on your shin. Your pants were off.. at least you kept your underwear on though.

Duke: *looks at Mysterious (face is hidden; who are they?) and his heart rate increases* I swear I didn't. I didn't do it. Please.. please believe me.

Mysterious: You were twerking.

Duke: No, I wasn't. You're setting me up. You're framing me. 

Mysterious: Stop lying to yourself, Duke.

Duke: *starts screaming (??)* I'm not lying! I wasn't doing that!

Mysterious: I see past your pretty white lies.

Duke: It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't me!

Mysterious: Yes you did!

Duke: *sudden realization* It's you.

Mysterious: *shows their full face and smiles creepily* That's right. Hello, Duke.

Duke: *starts crying* I'm not him! I swear I'm not him!

Mysterious: Oh, you're crying! *presses fingers delicately then harshly onto Duke's left cheek*   

Duke: *non-distinct worded screams* 

Mysterious: *lets go of Duke and stares at their fingers that are wet with tears* I see past your pretty white lies and eyes. Why does your eye turn purple when you cry?

Duke: *more realization hits* This is a skit, and not the story! That means you don't exist here. Ha, I win!

Mysterious: Finally. *turns into dust and gets blown away*

[It is mid-morning. Duke wakes up in a hospital bed, sweating.]

Dawn: Are you okay?

Duke: What do you mean?

Twinkle: Ugh, you spent the night at the hospital. We want to know if you are okay.

Duke: Oh.. oh, I'm fine.

Sparkle: How's your leg?

Duke: My leg?

Sparkle: Yeah, your leg. You broke your shin at work yesterday. Don't you remember?

Duke: *even more confused* No..?

Finny: Of course he doesn't remember. The coffee beans fell on the top of his head all at once, and he passed out. 

Duke: How did I break it?

Finny: Oh, you slipped on the floor. There was spilled coffee. I helped you.

Duke: So you were also at the coffee shop?

Finny: Yeah. I took you to the hospital.

Duke: So I didn't stay late at the coffee shop by myself.

Finny: No, I was there. This also happened hours before closing.

Duke: Oh.. 

......... I'm so tired. I'm not rereading this. Hopefully, this is a good enough skit. 

idk lmao

~ Cutepups (???????)