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Sunday, January 14, 2018

because i feel alive.

i'm looking at my past self again 
and that person staring back at me
the person who i was
during this past fall
this past october and november 
i think it's ridiculous that
that was me
because i only see a stranger in the mirror.

just a few months ago
and a few weeks ago
i could only write personal poems
full of my own version of
pain and sorrow
and i was hurting
everything hurt
because i thought i had to die.

i think it's ridiculous how hopeless i was
and how often i thought of dying
before 2018 could even begin
to be quite honest
i'm laughing right now
i think it was stupid of me
to have wanted death
so badly
because i don't want to die anymore.

i want to live
and i don't want to die
before the summer
since i'm full of hope now
after realizing i have
a long list of reasons to stay alive
i'm starting to appreciate living more
i don't want to die
because i feel alive.

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