morbid tragedy? me?

Ok hi, today was so tiring. I think I did well on my two tests today though, so at least there's that. 

For this post, I have yet another one of those Cutepups-rambling-and-analyzing-intense-future-story-spoilers.

Yeah. My story. The one with my characters. Yeah, that one. Mhmm.

Well, I'll just get into it. *presses hands together, breathes in slowly, breathes out*

Story 1 (I hate calling it "Twinkle's Story" I'm sorry) has layers upon layers of tragedy. And there's a lot of morbid stuff, too. Well, there's frequent interest in death among quite a few of my characters. And.. uh.. yeah, oh mm, that dark stuff.

The more I think about the ending, the more I think of how much tragedy is in this cursed story hell. 

Honestly, I also hate how I started the story with the intention to make it lighthearted and fine for kids to read. Because when I look at the story as a whole, I'm like.. hell no. This story? For kids? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, no. It started with the main character's sister (Fauna) dying. Well, basically. It was a flashback, but still. The story started on that note.

And then there's other content. Murder, suicide, violated, harassment, abuses, uhh some more stuff (idk, I'm so tired right now).. like geez, this story.. big yikes.

Oh and I didn't even start on the whole Z and Dawn thing. Oh heck, what's that? Oh, bad.

Z is shit. He's the worst. I fucking hate him so much. (idk if anyone would rather me keep the awful censored versions of swear words)

But his character? Just like all of my main characters, his is also so interesting. And quite mysterious too, I'll add. 

Because like.. his name is Z. What's his real name? No one but he knew. Dang, that's cryptic. Lying about his name to his kids? Z, what the hell? 

Pfft. Yeah. Ok. There, I said it.

(I have a headache. Ow.)

 

But for antagonist characters, I am in love with Taurel's character. Now, that guy is a work of art. 

Taurel.. I kinda actually love him. Like, a lot.

I also love the tension/reflection/idk what it's called or how to describe it between Taurel and (Duke) Fierdan. To both Duke and Fierdan.

It's so deep. Like, damn. It's something, alright. 

(Should I explain it? Hmm? Nah? Oh, I'll just type about it cryptically.)

Taurel and Duke/Fierdan: Both are ambitious dudes full of that ambition juice. Mm.. take a sip, babes. Both want to change the world and become official leaders of their vision of the new world. For all of them, they all have turned corrupt/cruel/merciless/selfish-and-self-absorbed. Became so obsessed with their plans (what plans? oh? uh.. shh) that they don't care about others at all and eventually their own health and safety. Uh, I'm not sure if I should say insanity? But yeah, that. Yeah? 

Then there's the whole eyes thing with Duke and Taurel. Very painfully and slowly, Taurel ruins Duke's left eye. When Duke attacks Taurel's eyes much later, he quickly damages Taurel's right eye. Opposite eyes.. that's deep lol. Man.. opposites. Wow, I love that. But will I explain it to make you readers understand what I mean? Oh lol no.

(I sure am tired. Ah heck.)

And then there's Taurel and Fierdan and the Savior complex. These boys (oh wait.. they're adults lol) and their tension. Haha, how fun. What's a Savior? Who's right? How about they're both wrong? The real Savior is obviously Twinkle my blue god(ess). Duh ;). Lmao.

But seriously, Taurel and Fierdan on that Savior topic sure is something. Ah.. *rubs hands together evilly because I'm cruel to my characters*

Twinkle kinda scares me in Chapter 76. Geez, blue child.. calm down. Don't do that. Don't also turn into a violent, merciless person (yes, I'm looking at you, Duke boy).

What else do I want to cram into this terrible text post? Oh hmm..?

Maybe I love Duke's character so much because he's clearly not all evil or all good. Is he the good guy or the bad guy? Neither? Both? It's a mystery. All I can say is- Damn it, Duke.

What Fierdan said in the most recent skit. Oh.. hmmmmmmmmmm.

Names and meanings (well for- Duke, Fierdan/Daniel, Dawn, Twinkle/Stella..)... oh hmmmmmmm.

I thought about the near-end of the story scene where Finny dies in the explosion (which one? lol why would I give any context?), and then later, Duke walks through the ashes and rubble (parallel to when Fierdan and Dawn first came to the world? maybe?) and takes Finny's body away from that terrible place. 

And how like Finny is taller than Duke. Duke carrying him away. Not outwardly showing emotions like how he was when Ardere died. Finny being outside in the first place because he wanted to say some things to Duke and wanted to go find him. Duke (and other characters) knowing that the world was going to break and die. Because with the execution of Soulless leads to the end of the world (that -Jamaa-one I mean). Duke looking like he feels nothing (it still breaks him apart but he doesn't show anything but sad numbness(?) physically) upon discovering his best friend's dead body. How.. well, just how Duke second-handedly causes the (unpleasant) deaths of his two (boy) friends. Friends of whom are boys. Yeah lol. 

God fucking damn. My heart. It hurts.

The ending of story 1- everyone dies. The end. 

(jk it's not exactly like that. like, you know, twinkle doesn't actually die. neither does dawn, probably. the last story scene is with twinkle, and in the background is dawn, fierdan (with that duke part attached lol), and jinx and jax (they're very important actually). them.. yeah. ok..)

Me? Constantly crying over how I keep on screwing Duke's life over and over? Lmao true.

My god..

I don't know. 

Ouch.

Bye! :D

~ Cutepups (...)