Ok so here's the thing. I was going to make other posts yesterday (Monday) and earlier today. And then, well, I didn't.
I was doing things. Like watching TV shows (on an actual TV- whoa what) and going to the movies.
I'm very tired right now. Uh ok.
But to make this a little more interesting to read, I have to say. Ever since I wrote that short and weird Fierdan skit on Monday, I was thinking about that time I wrote a skit where Fierdan wears fishnet leggings. What a fashion icon lmao.
Skit Fierdan is so.. gosh, I love that guy. He has a place in my heart.
To be honest, I doubt that I can really do it successfully. I want to turn his character into someone that readers can.. well, can like. I want Fierdan to be an enjoyable character.
It's hard, ok. It's so hard. I have such a complicated relationship with this guy. With Fierdan.
Ugh, what am I doing? For around a week now, I've been thinking of potential story 3 concepts. At this rate, I'm never going to finish story 1. Never mind make it the way I want it to be.
It's ridiculous. I'm spending my days now thinking about Fierdan after having one of, if not the most, intimate romantic relationships (and yes, I'm including "romantic" in that because there are plenty of amazing friendships that'll happen with my protagonists).. when a ton of plot stuff happens before that relationship even begins.
Haha, what am I even doing? What am I doing?
I'm thinking of Fierdan and Ryen hanging out in a bar, drinking, talking about their day. No, not in a skit. No, I mean in the story. And they're.. they're being like actual good brothers. It's just so nice.
But that doesn't happen in so long. They're not exactly on good terms when they first reunite. They don't start off as good brothers who would hang out at bars and talk about their day. So, so much happens before that. Fierdan dislikes his brother a lot at first.
I'm not sure if I ever made it clear, so I'll say it now. Ryen and Fierdan are opposites. They are two very different characters. Sometimes I think that they're nothing more than polar opposites of each other.
And yet despite how opposite they are of each other, they're so much alike. In Chapter 76, I plan on writing a parallel between the two. Like, "hey, they have something in common after all! they both panic and break down and are total mentally damaged wrecks--".
I'm thinking about them drinking in a bar while at the point the story is at now, they're very much away from each other.
Oh and no, I didn't forget that eye post. Thinking about it made me emotional. Things get deep and heavy, and I know it's stupid since it's about eyes. It's just that I have animal analogies when I think about Duke and Fierdan's eyes. I compare them to animals.
Yeah ok that's dumb, I know but I said it.
Also.. that other content I included in that "explicit"-ish post. That was because at the same time I was writing the post I found a phrase and read informative blog posts on websites. Well, those got me thinking. That's for sure. Haha.. yeah.
I'm being vague on purpose. I'm also very tired. Sorry.
I'm taking a while to make posts I had ideas on for a while now because I'm a little scared. Scared that I'll screw up and say the wrong thing. And I know you won't get that, but--
Everything is just so heavy.
Oh and I lied. One of those posts is going to mention sex a little. Sorry about that too.
My identity is a contradiction, I suppose.
I'm done now. Bye.
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