plus more stuff

Hello again. I know I just published a post, but I want to tell you guys some things before I forget again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the past few times I've been creating skits, I imagine them taking place in a separate dimension from the universe where the actual story takes place. How the characters express themselves in the skits is not entirely accurate to how they did/will express themselves in the story. In the skits, all of the characters are friends (or at least I think they are- despite some things lol) but in the story, not all characters meet each other. For example, Duke will never meet Ryen in person.

I got kinda stuck on writing the skit from the last post. Oops, I tried.

Fierdan. Bad boy. :'D XD Smh Duke.

Everything tumblr in it is fake. It's not real. They don't have tumblr accounts. There isn't a Fierdan tag on tumblr (at least my fire boy character), and there is no blog that Ryen secretly created that only posts cryptic photos of Fierdan being naked in Cincernum.

What usernames would they have? I really don't know. I'm not that creative, guys. I never got that into the idea of them blogging. Oh and I know I was vague when I included what they blogged about on each of their blogs.

Please don't sue me. :( Spread love and kindness instead. <3

-X-

I might post a poem or two later tonight or very early the next morning.

It won't be about the story or any of the characters though.

Personal poems. Might not make that much sense to other people.

My head's a mess.

I'm a mess.

Look forward to that, I guess.

Characters Blogging

A funny bad skit in which my Twinkle's Story characters are introduced to blogging on tumblr.

You can say I got requested to do this. This isn't going to be a RIM post though, whoops.

But before I begin going into that, have some unrelated notes.

I also saw puppies and kittens on Wednesday. They're adorable. Of course. Cute animals are very good things in life.

The title, Twinkle's Story, kinda actually has a deep dark meaning to it. Might or might have anything to do with character deaths and how the story started in only her POV. Hehe.

I got a sudden but brief burst of inspiration earlier today to write poems. I haven't made any in a while. The poem hiatus might end soon.

I'm kinda scared to write Chapter 75 and more future chapters. My plans for them are good, but I fear that when I actually go to write them they won't be as good. Ugh, wish I could word things better.

Fantasy worlds make everything a little better nowadays.

Okay, now onto the skit. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: *reblogging a hundred things to my tumblr in ten minutes on my computer (very unrealistic since I'm always on mobile smh)*
Me: Um.. what the heck.

. . . . . .

Ryen (prev. skit Night): *types on computer*
Fierdan: What are you doing?
Ryen: *begins to lower screen* Uh.. nothing.
Fierdan: *approaches Ryen sitting in front of his desk and raises computer screen* This isn't "nothing", you fool!
Ryen: Excuse me, but you are more foolish than me.
Fierdan: No, I'm not! *blushes?*

[Duke enters room with nothing and nobody for once, surprisingly.]

Duke: Hi--
Ryen: It seems that I have been mistaken. Little bro, you are not the fool. Your Duke experiment is the fool.
Fierdan: Gosh, thanks.
Duke: Great, I can't escape the rude nicknames. First it was Brock calling me a "drunkie", then it was Fierdan calling me his "pet", and now it's Ryen calling me an "experiment".
Ryen: Yes, that is the truth.
Fierdan: Okay, I don't care. You can stay here, Duke, but if you screw anything up, I will slaughter you and rip your heart to shreds.
Duke: That sounds so pleasant. I hate my heart, and you killing me sounds hot.
Fierdan: Wh.. What the hell.
Ryen: Umm...
Duke: Uh.. that was a pun. You know.. Fierdan's black flames.. how he killed people using black flames.. black fire is very hot in temperature....
Fierdan: I hate you so much.

[After a few minutes, the rest of the gang shows up.]

Ryen: Alright, alright. I'll tell you guys what I've been doing.
Fierdan: Finally. *glares at Duke*
Duke: *adjusts shirt collar*
Ryen: I found this very old computer program from hundreds of years ago. It's called Tumblr and is a blogging platform.
Finny: Ancient blogging? Give me that, Ry! *snatches computer*
Sparkle: Finny, what are you doing?
Finny: This is how people blogged in the olden days.
Dawn: Sorry to burst your bubble, but I heard of this old blogging site called Blogger. This looks nothing like that.
Twinkle: I have an idea because screw it. Let's create blogging accounts.
Finny: Great idea!

[After a half hour, everyone has their own computers somehow.]

Finny: Hmm... *scratches chin*
Brock: Hey, what should my password be?
Finny: *thinking* Spinny123...
Sparkle: I believe you aren't supposed to share your password to other people.
Finny: Oh! *types Spinny123*
Brock: What should my password be then?
Sparkle: I don't know, Brock. Think for once!
Brock: Finny?
Finny: *types frantically on keyboard*
Brock: Oh, I know! My password will be IIoveCashierGirlN0Lady. It's a capital I and not a lowercase l for the love word. There's a zero in the no word as well. *starts typing*
Sparkle: I just told you not to do that.
Brock: Do what?
Sparkle: Say your password out loud. You aren't supposed to do that.
Brock: Oops, my bad. Pretend you're all deaf, everybody.
Sparkle: Oh and Finny, why is your username Spinny123? We broke up, remember?
Finny: Oh.. right.

[Meanwhile, on the other side of the room.]

Twinkle: *scrolls through tumblr*
Duke: What the hell! Why isn't it working?
Fierdan: Shut up, Duke! *smashes keyboard with fists* Why are there these odd images called "memes" everywhere?
Duke: At least you could log in! It won't let me even do that!
Fierdan: I searched my name, and I found all these posts about me. What does this mean?
Twinkle: It means you have fans.
Fierdan: What are fans?
Twinkle: People that adore you. I don't know.
Fierdan: They're freaking me out. *starts blocking everyone who made a Fierdan post*
Dawn: *approaches Duke* Now what seems to be the problem?
Duke: *smashes keyboard with fists* It won't let me log in!
Dawn: I already set up a theme for my blog and am reblogging nature aesthetic things, and you didn't even create your account yet?
Duke: Yeah, and it won't let me!
Twinkle: That's cool, Dawn. I just set up a blue aesthetic theme to my blog.
Duke: I hate this! *sets his computer on fire*
Dawn: I was trying to help you, but you just destroyed your computer.
Fierdan: Shut up! I have to block these people.
Ardere: Uh... *shows Fierdan his computer screen* Is that you or Duke?
Fierdan: Huh, what?
Duke: Sorry, what happened?
Ardere: *points at tumblr post*
Duke: That is called sin! *covers Ardere's eyes*
Fierdan: Give me that, little boy! *grabs Ardere's computer*
Duke: Tag nsfw, gosh!
Fierdan: *glares at Duke* You are an idiot!
Ryen: *enters room* Why did disaster have to strike when I was gone peeing?
Sparkle: It was all Duke. As usual.
Duke: *rolls eyes* Tumblr wasn't working.
Ryen: What did you expect? Of course it would be slow. It's very old.
Twinkle: It worked perfectly fine for the rest of us.
Ryen: Oh.. interesting.
Fierdan: *points at the post on Ardere's computer* That isn't sin, Duke. Dawn, come here!
Dawn: Ugh fine.
Fierdan: Look at this.
Dawn: Okay.
Fierdan: Duke thinks this post is sin.
Dawn: Sin?
Duke: The guy is naked. Wait, is that you, Fierdan?
Twinkle: I'm just gonna ignore all of you. *reblogs blue aesthetic things to her blog*
Ryen: Bro...
Fierdan: *tilts head* Did Soulless take a picture of me?
Duke: You're not in a shower, so why are you standing there naked?
Fierdan: Damn it, Soulless!
Dawn: Nudity is not a sin.
Ardere: I'm sorry, I should explain. Tumblr suggested this blog and it just has pictures of Fierdan.
Fierdan: Oh, I blocked that freak. *clicks on the username on Ardere's computer*
Ardere: *looks away*
Fierdan: Who took all these pictures of me?
Duke: Tag your nsfw, Daniel!
Fierdan: Call me that one more time, and I will take out all your bones.
Duke: *states blankly at Fierdan*
Fierdan: These are all from Cincernum. There's black goop everywhere, and it's not like we can see my--
Finny: *sneezes*
Fierdan: -- in any of the pictures.
Ryen: It was Soulless.
Duke: Since when does Soulless have cameras for eyes?
Ryen: Never mind.

[A few hours, let's see what they are blogging.]

Dawn: nature, green aesthetic, body positivity, the occasional meme
Twinkle: memes, blue aesthetic, song lyrics, quotes
Finny: memes, whatever is on his dashboard
Sparkle: pink aesthetic, celebrities, more makeup and fashion, food
Ardere: wolves, memes, lightning, yellow aesthetic, happy things
Fierdan: black things, red things, things associated with death, edgy things, blood, fire, poetry, flowers, things that offend Duke even though they're sharing the account now
Brock: whatever is on his dashboard Ryen: won't share what he blogs about

[Ryen while alone in the room.]

Ryen: It was me. I created that blog last night. I love my Soulless creation and messing with Daniel.

XD

Should I continue?

Cursed site.

Cursed characters + Cursed site = Cursed content

:^)

1001% true accurate believe me

(From my tumblr)

Alrighty, so here's the deal. I got asked this question, "How do you write a story? *sun emoji*" and I feel like answering it on here as well.

How do I write Twinkle's Story? Hmm, let's see.

This is very true and accurate. Believe me I'm old.

My answer to this question (which are both very serious indeed):

How do you write a story? What kind of question is that? You think I know how to write? That’s where you are wrong, you fool! Who said I know how to read? What is a story? What’s a book? Want to know how to be a New York best seller Nobel Prize winning author? Fine, I’ll tell you. You get a cardboard box from the post office, you rip it apart, and you hold one side of the box. Then you get a glitter pen in any color and start scribbling. When you’re done with that, you smash that on your computer keyboard and open 1990-something MS Word on your computer you got during this decade. Then you have to think of characters, the setting, and the plot/conflict. Since I am the best, here are how to make the best characters. Make at least one of them be very confusing by contradicting what you wrote about him or her or them (can’t forget nonbinary genders, come on now) in Chapter 1 and Chapter 51. Oh and your story has to be over 100 chapters long or else it’s trash. Make them all seem straight and have those high school tropes of emo, punk, princess, stalker, etc. but throw that all away once you hit chapters in the 50s. Then turn them all into not being straight by throwing rainbow sprinkles all over your computer screen. Then of course you have to cry for a total of 10 months before actually going into the setting and plot of your story. Make sure your setting is very vague so your readers will be very confused. Make them in a barren desert for all I care! Make the setting be absolutely nothing! Believe me, I am a professional. Start writing the actual plot once you start writing Chapter 60. What about those 59 other chapters? To heck with them, I dare say! Now that, sweaty, is how to write the best story ever. :^) ♡♡♡♡♡♡

That's obviously how I wrote the story.

For real. Kind of.

hello owo

Yes, hi. Have another morning post. <3

Yesterday, I got a headache when I was sleeping. Yeah, it was weird and awful. :(

Walked in the city all day yesterday. Eesh.

Eh well anyways. Onto the blogging side of things.

That Chapter Parallels post obviously isn't a funny bad skit. I just felt like posting that instead.

I got requested to make a post with the skit theme being all my characters having their own blogs. I'm thinking of making them have tumblr blogs on the hell site.

Oh and about the polls, I'm thinking of drawing the characters in story form and human form. I like drawing them as humans much more.

That creepy Duke I drew on the left side of the paper is Demonic Duke (after Stage 1). I'm bad at drawing because I keep on drawing him too much like a gremlin.

I love that Duke. Probably because my planned writing things are the best for those chapters. Ha, ha. >:)

I feel kinda sad that there has to be The Scene before I can start posting chapters with Demonic Duke. So sad. I'm so mean wtf.

Duke and Death. Duke and Breakdowns. Mm omg. Aaaahhhh.

Wait no. I love all the characters' breakdowns. Haha yeah, gotta love when the story gets hit with that angst. >:')

Well, the breakdowns of Duke, Dawn, Twinkle, Fierdan, Finny, and Taurel (but it's different than the other ones).

Not necessarily in order. I don't know.

Oh and that Demonic Duke I drew in the last post isn't human form Duke. That's actually what he will look like. But all my characters look better than my bad art lol.

Actual human Duke in the story is Danny. Post-Fierdan is basically the fusion of Fierdan and Duke (minus Soulless which is basically part Fierdan then).

Ummmmmm..............

Me: *thinks of Duke in certain future chapters (Ch. 27 and 50 too)*
Me: God damn, put a Walking Trigger Warning on this boy.
Readers: Omg stop this, Cutepups. How much more pain are you giving your character even though he's a b****** ("reynard")?
Me: *thinks of Duke in certain chapters*
Me: Oh honey, you've got a big storm coming.

What the.........................

Anyway, I was just walking around and suddenly thought of bloody sinister Demonic Duke.

Smh, Cutepups casually being in cursed story hell.

Ardere is my favorite pure boy. My angel son. Angel AU. Umm duh?

Ardere and Fauna. I think it's cute. Kinda ship them. Not yet in the posted chapters though. Much later.

I ship Dawn and Twinkle a lot now because of their breakdowns and angst. :-)

I never talked about Jinx yet, but he's an important character too.

"Do You Remember?" is a writing piece (poem?) with all the Duke and Finny close best friend vibes (which they were before the story started). Uhh.. DukeXFinny though. Mm omg.

~ zoned out in the zone ~

Stupid skit in my stupid mind that makes no sense.. or does it?

Me: Hey, so you know Duke and Finny, right?
Readers: Yes. Finny is my boy! :)
Me: Finny has been a problematic friend, I know. He just didn't know (tm) and will redeem himself somehow.
Readers: Yes, Finny, my boy! :)
Me: By Readers, I mean one person. Uh yeah lmao.
Readers: Is A. ;)
Me: Ayy lmao. Anyway, what if Finny is related to the Daredevil?
Readers: The Daredevil?
Me: Duke's older best friend when he lived with his father. Duke thought he got paralyzed after a stunt accident off a roof. Duke haven't heard from him since, so he thinks he died.
Readers: Oh..... okay. But didn't Finny tell Duke that he didn't know who the Daredevil was?
Me: But what if Finny was lying? :-)
Readers: Oh..........
Me: I kinda think that Finny thought Duke and Daredevil were best friends, and that Duke had a crush on Daredevil. Omg Duke, my boy. <3
Readers: Whats with all the sudden gay ships?
Me: Yes. :)
Readers: Talk about Finny some more. I love him too much and don't know why!
Me: Of course I will! Want to know some random facts that make no sense?
Readers: Huh? Sure? I don't know?
Me: Finny is named after that character in Black Butler named Finny. I originally planned on making Finny's actual name, Infinity, but that sounds weird and Finny is a much better name. I also think of Finny being like Hide (omg gotta love him). It obviously makes no sense to current posted chapters, but I feel like it will make sense in much later chapters. Finny and Duke are the characters in my story version of Hide and Kaneki. Only in a few ways though because of course they're different. Like, Duke is more of a b****** ("reynard").
Readers: Omg stop this, Cutepups.
Me: No. I think the only way you guys can see it is because of the Night of the Black Flames (the night when Duke obtained the power to use deadly black flames, giving him the full realization that he somehow is Fierdan). Life changer. Eh, eh?
Readers: I don't get it. :/
Me: Honestly, I don't blame you. My story hell thoughts don't make that much sense to other people. It might make more sense when Duke becomes Demonic Duke. Duke starts to become that version of himself because of Soulless in himself growing stronger and not wanting to die, and because if Duke is a regular [human, "fox"] then he would have died. Yeah, haha.
Readers: Oh....... uh...... okay.
Me: Also because of a version for the ending of the story. When Finny meets Demonic Duke in person. But Duke is calm and sad rather than being sinister, violent, and bloody. And then Duke would confess to Finny that he's a phantom demon, and Finny would already know and tell Duke that he knew Daredevil. Then they would probably hug or some crap. Oh and because of the ruined landscape (???), Finny dies. And then Duke dies. :-) :')
Readers: Omg what the hell, Cutepups?! That is not okay! I am crying?!
Me: :-) <3

Bye! ♡♡

Uhhhhhh Duke

Hi. I added some polls. Cutepups, what you doing. XD

I drew some Dukes today. It's like I draw him every other day. No way.

The three main Duke stages. The Duke evolution. Omg.

Demonic Duke is a cryptid. Ooh scary.

Before black fire Duke looks so pure. Just kidding, he was never pure.

Long haired Duke. That's him now. The face describes how he is in the story as of now.

Omg Duke. XD

-X- -X-

My buddy-o-pal called A created this masterpiece for me.

It's just stock photos off the internet. XD

It says, "im duke and im valid" because he is gosh ok.

The guy in the purple shirt is supposed to be Duke. His mouth looks weird; why are his teeth like that? The guy looks like an Esteban to me. Like from that Disney show. Yeah, you know, that guy.

At the same time, the guy looks so ugly. Omg what the heck.

It's like in the story everyone thinks he's hot, but he's actually ugly.

That's not true though omg.

At the top right, there are these silhouettes of Taurel and Risak (aka the two guys who leave Duke effed up).

Taurel is putting his hand on Risak's shoulder like "bruh" of course.

Yes. Hand. It's the left arm, stupid.

There's a bag of coffee beans because A and I had a long and thorough discussion about Duke and coffee beans.

Like what happened? Well um. He grinded coffee very badly and inappropriately. What, does he have coffee beans in his butt now? Damn it, Duke.

His paw is holding a ball of fire. It reminds me of Chapter 62 when he did that in the middle of the night.

Omg those sunglasses look so ugly. I'm screaming.

There are yellow flip flops because A and I had a thorough discussion about Duke waddling at a beach wearing bright yellow flip flops and probably a bright Hawaiian shirt and capri pants too.

Oh and Duke also has these funny nose glasses on.

The swag look. Mm omg.

Here's a skit that goes along with it:

taurel: where is duke?
dawn and ardere: idk
duke wearing funny nose glasses: waddles over in the yellow flip flops
dawn and ardere: damn it
duke: idk who "duke" is, i'm ekud

Omg damn it, Duke. You're such a fool.

When Duke says that, he's also winking, smiling, and throwing a thumbs up at Taurel.

If you don't get it, Ekud is Duke spelled backwards. Yeah lol.

Duke is a wild boy. XD

Chapter Parallels

Hello. I was just reading some chapters from 2014. That was three years ago. Wow.

I feel like telling you a random fact. Haha yeah sure.

On YouTube, there's this AJ series called "Phantom with a Dream."

Anyway, I rewatched the series today. So there is this boy fox character called Dash.

In 2014 and 2015 when AJ things were still a part of my story, I thought of Dash as an inspiration for Duke.

Dang, remember when Duke and Twinkle were AJ foxes who had fur and tails? Remember that? No? XD

Wild times. Oh yeet.

I also looked at older chapters. In this post, I'm gonna explain something I love about the story. And that thing is called Chapter Parallels.

Chapter Parallels: when an older chapter has a scene with a specific theme that relates to a much later chapter

Uh, it's hard for me to explain.

Well, I just want to tell you guys the clearest examples I know.

Story analyzing. Fun. :')

~~~~~~~~

Chapter 55 and Chapter 73. Parallel between Fierdan talking to Duke, and Duke talking to Ardere.

"Being killed is not the only way someone can die," Fierdan in Chapter 55.

"Being killed isn't the only way to die, huh? What a freaking lie," Duke in Chapter 73.

Fierdan and Duke are referring to Duke's extermination of Soulless. If Duke has to be killed for Soulless to die.

-X-

Chapter 59, Chapter 62, and Chapter 74.

In Chapter 59, Ardere recalls a dream he had. Duke's eyes became completely black, he snarled, "You can't kill me that easily," and the room got devoured in black and orange flames.

In Chapter 62, Duke recalls the same dream but in more detail since it's actually about him. More detail as in his eyes became white as well as black, and he said it after someone tried to execute him via a gun shot to the head at one of his temples. Again, Duke snarled, "You can't kill me that easily."

And then there's Chapter 74. By now, it's revealed that the someone who is trying to execute Duke is Risak. But so far in the posted chapters, these are all dreams or visions. Duke isn't with Risak. Not yet.

In Chapter 74, Duke words it differently. This time, he says, "I am the Duke Fierdan. Do not underestimate us," and Soulless says, "If you want to kill Duke, you will have to kill me as well. Unfortunately, I am not ready to die." This could mean that in the dream with Duke's strange eye colors and extreme power of flames, Duke wasn't working alone. Soulless had a big factor.

And those signs begin Duke's character development to Demonic Duke.

Demonic Duke is a result of some events that happen. That might be considered effed up and possibly traumatizing. They involve deaths. In this form, Duke actually becomes more like a fusion of Fierdan and Soulless, so he loses the fox equivalent of his humanity. But ironically, he gains humanity much later. So yeah, there will be a human Duke. At least kind of. I call it Demonic Duke because it's when Duke acts the most like a demon. Some parts involve a lot of brutality from him. Which is, well, pretty much actually violent.

Yeah. :-)

-X-

Chapter 27, Chapter 50, and future chapter.

Chapter 27 was a flashback to the first time Duke tried to cut away the black and purple flame over his heart.

In Chapter 50, Duke refers back to that first time he tried to get rid of his phantom flame marking himself. But this time, the context of it is self harm.

In a future chapter, Duke talks to someone about the times he mutilated his body and how he can't die simply because of his history of borderline suicide attempts. (It goes there. Wow, dark. This messed up story. Acceptance though. Oh, you readers have big storms coming.)

-X-

Chapter 54 and Chapter 75 (the next chapter).

In Chapter 54 when Duke is in the car with Calliah, he thinks about how he's too much of a coward to get out of the car and hope to get run over and die.

In Chapter 75, Fierdan tells Fauna about how he sees himself as a coward for following Soulless's orders to kill others instead of disobeying orders and killing himself instead in order to not hurt others.

Basically, the parallel is about how Duke and Fierdan regret not ending their lives.

-X-

Chapter 62 and Chapter 64.

In Chapter 62, Dawn recalls Fierdan murdering Zios. Dawn also regains a memory of her and Fierdan in the human world.

In Chapter 64, Fierdan recalls when he killed his father. He also regains a memory of him and Dawn in the human world.

-X-

Chapter 52 and Chapter 75.

In Chapter 52, Duke thinks about how he threatened to kill Dawn.

In Chapter 75, Fierdan talks about how he almost killed Dawn.

-X-

Chapter 54 and Chapter 67.

In Chapter 54, Calliah (Duke's mom) tells Duke the reason why she murdered Eternal (Duke's dad).

The reason is Eternal was going to kill Duke if she hadn't killed him. He knew Calliah and Duke's phantom blood identities. He knew Duke was related to Fierdan.

In Chapter 67, Eternal tells Fauna about himself and how he really feels about Duke. He says that if Calliah didn't kill him, he would have killed Duke.

-X-

Chapter 54 and Chapter 72.

In Chapter 54, Duke swears to hurt anyone who hurts Fauna.

In Chapter 72, Fierdan tells Fauna why he hurt Eternal in Chapter 67. It was because Duke wants to hurt anyone who hurts Fauna. Eternal was hurting her, so Fierdan hurt him in Duke's behalf.

-X-

Chapter 54 and Chapter 61.

In Chapter 54, Duke is uncomfortable with the thought of someone else wearing his concealed black flames black jacket.

In Chapter 61, Duke finds out that Twinkle wore the jacket.

-X-

Chapter 55 and Chapter 68.

In Chapter 55, Twinkle has a dream where she and Duke kiss while their fire wings are out and they're above the ground.

In Chapter 68, they kiss while their wings are out and they're above the ground.

-X-

Chapter 3 and Chapter 70.

In Chapter 3, Twinkle finds Duke in the hospital by himself watching over her. Duke tells her, "I don't think I can live with you gone. I can't live without you, Twinkle."

And finally in Chapter 70, it's revealed just how seriously and literally Duke meant that.

In Chapter 70, Duke admits the real reason why he was there in the hospital when Twinkle woke up. He snuck into the hospital and stayed the night there. Duke couldn't live with himself if Twinkle died due to phantoms, so he stayed at the hospital to prevent himself from acting on self destructive behavior.

-X-

I'm too tired to continue. I have more, but they involve chapters that aren't out yet.

Can you find any more chapter parallels?

A lot involve Duke and are about death. Eesh, this boy and the symbolism though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

life updates ahh

[Proper Posting]

Welcome back to my twisted mind and cursed blog. :^)

Viewers: I actually commented on your posts, but you still haven't replied to me. :/

Yeah.. totally not stalling on reading comments. Pfft.. of course not.

I published them without reading. Oops. Reasons.. no.. ok maybe.

I'll read and reply. Soon.

Oh, today's Monday! Twinkle's Story skit day.

.....................................

But enough with that, this post is gonna be the serious one.

Yes. Ok. Finally.

I went to Dairy Queen yesterday. Totally different from last time. Very different. Different. I drove and the mood was positive feelings. Not like last time. Yeah lol.

2014 and 2015 Me: makes bright and colorful "warning" messages before chapters
Those chapters: just mention blood, aren't even very violent
2016 and 2017 Me: makes shorter and not colorful "warning" messages before chapters
Those chapters: more graphic violent scenes, suicide mentions, homicide mentions, more blood, etc.
Me: I love my characters. <3 :-) *punches 2014-16 me* Omg stop it. Ableism and heteronormality. Grow up, scum. :/

Viewers: Stop it, Cutepups.
Me: Ok, ok fine.
Viewers: *shun me*
Me: *gets shunned*

................................................

I met with the person I'm gonna tutor on Saturday.

It went okay. Not as long or bad as I thought it would be.

Dang, that anxiety. Hey Anxiety, f*** you.

For the past week, I kept on thinking.. bad things.

One being if I passed or failed a class.

Bad thoughts leaning more on failure.

I was so terrified and stressed. Now not as much. Still am though.

In real life, people only talk about the following:

- current school (grades, standardized testing scores, exams)
- colleges and universities (majors, "what are you interested in?" idk at all, locations, sizes, standardized test scores, applications, resume)
- driving (driving to boring places, it's pointless, will i ever pass and get my license?, stress, fail fail)
- jobs (applications, resume, much anxiety, can't communicate and socialize well)

Basically. Yeah. Real life is boring. Ugh.

I'm losing it. Yeah, still am. Oops.

I know they're doing this because they care about me. They're good. I'm the bad person here. I know.

But I literally can not picture myself in the future (after high school). In my mind, I have no future. I won't say I'm actually suicidal, but I kinda hate existing. Passive suicide ideation is another story, ha ha. It's the same boring things every day. Summers aren't fun anymore. Not much is in general.

I just feel bad and guilty. Sometimes more than other times.

Everyone in my life wants me to think and plan out my future (I can do whatever I want- well, not crime and drugs and kill myself of course lmao). But I literally can't do that. I'm very indecisive. Extremely indecisive. It feels like nobody I know actually gets it. I don't know. Anything at all.

I can't picture myself in one year. Six months.

Of course I can't imagine myself in five or ten years from now.

It's hard for my brain to register that I'll be alive in any of those times in the future.

It's bad lmao.

And the rare times when my brain ponders me as a concept in five or more years, I think about myself as a pretty much totally different identity.

I know I said it a few times, but it's true. I'm disconnected from other people irl and from myself. I'm trapped in this toxic feeling of disconnection. I don't recommend the feeling.

By new identity, I mean me with a different name. (I get annoyed when people repeatedly say my real name.) By new identity, I mean me being not 100% female gender. (I hate certain body parts, trying not to and not as much as in the past but I still do. I hate when people say I'm exactly like a younger version of my mom. It makes me uncomfortable..?)

Yeah. I'm very, very, very, very, very indecisive about everything regarding myself. I question myself all the time. Haha, great suffering feels.

On a different note, I've been sleeping terribly for a while. I wake up several times in the middle of the night (I mean early morning like at 3, 4, 5 am).

That's called the anxiety and despair, Cutepups.

I'm also easily tired. I'm tired to some degree all the time. I'm never not tired.

Mentally and physically tired, that is.

My sleep cycle is bad. My preparation for sleep at night is bad. Don't be like me, kiddos. I'm a bad influence. I'm a sad meme (+ foolish cryptid).

Oh and my phone charger doesn't work all the time. Which, well, it sucks.

I'm also never satisfied with myself. At anything.

I hate my art. Oops lmao.

Thinking too much kills. I do not recommend it.

Just don't.

Ok bye.

wip: children trio

I also have a new finished story drawing, but here's a new sketch.

Probably gonna change some stuff in it. Like their clothes.

Can you guess who they are? ;) :)

Takes place after Twinkle's Story.

Gotta fix their faces here.

I reread Chapters 65-74 yesterday and today. Not too horrible..

What.. totally not stalling on stuff. Pfft.. no.

Oops.

I'll return soon.

Bye.

can we just appreciate this spam?

[Improper Posting]

Can we just appreciate this spam?

Like wow.

Wow!

That grammar. Just wow.

Wow!

"What is size of Swayze Water Jersey may have?"

10/10 grammar. Omg how beautiful.

What is the size of Swayze Water Jersey may have? I really don't know.

It reminds me of a waterpark in New Jersey. I never heard of Swayze Water Jersey before.

I wonder if they know I'm from NJ.

It's boring here. The roads suck too. Heckin hell. XD

"I saw a lot of website but I think this one contains something special in it."

That beautiful grammar yet again.

Ah yes. My blog is something special. No other "AJ blog" and blogger is as corrupted as me. I don't even post about AJ, yet my URL has "Jamaa" in it. I deceive people all the time because of this. I also write a story with sensitive themes such as death, killing, torture, kissing, swearing, and more. I also talk about depressing and anxious things because that's me. Mm deaths.

Ha. Ha. Ha. XD

Or maybe my blog is special because of my swag Cutepuppiness and my amazingly terrible skits. I love my skits so much.

"Might advocate slightly less cheese."

I don't think I talked about cheese in that chapter. Or any chapter for that matter.

Or is this spambot saying that chapter is cheesy?

Like come on, man. I know a lot of chapters before 2017 were very cheesy and cliché, but I'm trying very hard to make the story not as cheesy and cliché.

Stop being mean omg Mr. Spam Man! :'(

asdfghjkl

wow ok then

Hi. I'm back.

Actually, I came back yesterday. I was gonna post, but then I didn't.

Phew, what a relief.

I got woken up by my sister because there was a tornado warning in my area.

Scary shiz. Oh my.

It included neighboring towns. Some that border the one I live in.

Ah geez.

And now it's 3 hours later. The sky is partly cloudy now. No more rain.

Yeah, what a thrill. Since when does my state get tornado warnings? Umm, cryptid state.

What the heck. No one cares about weather updates, Cutepups.

Ok whatever.

I haven't checked my comment moderation thing in a while. I have the feeling someone commented. Umm lol?

One of the only really positive things that happened recently was that I saw some fish in this pretty pond and outdoor back area of this Japanese restaurant.

Oh and I had wifi in the hotel. Lol.

So there were these fish. Koi fish and cat fish. I don't know fish, so I don't know for sure.

Anyway, there were some small red fish, some bigger red and blue fish, and some big fish.

One of the big fish was this golden colored fish.

I kept on calling that fish "Golden Boy" and "Big Boy" as it swam closer toward us.

Hehe. Liked that guy.

There were also two big orange fish. I liked those guys too.

Haha yes. Great fishies. XD 

Everything else was boring and made me want to die because I had to think about my future.

My future. XD

Ugh, gotta meet up with some people today.

Didn't want to do this. Got forced into it.

Gotta schedule meeting times for when I have to tutor someone.

I don't know how to tutor people. I don't know how to even socialize.

I am a fool full of fear. :^)

I have some art I want to show you guys. Yes, have some more of my crappy art. Please give me that lovely validation.

~ zones out ~

Not wearing a bra feels so much better than wearing one. Omg wow.

Looking flatter without one.

What the..? Flatter? Words smh.

My chest hurts when I think about it. XD

Boobs. What the actual heck. Stop it. XD

XD XD XD XD life omg XD XD XD XD

Viewers: XD is annoying as heck!
Me: I know! I'm using it in a different subtle context now. XD
Viewers: omg why

This blog is like my high school journal. Omg why. XD

You all can see how happy and funny and good quality my posts were in 2014. Well, for most of that time anyways.

And from there when I started high school hell in September 2014, you can see how my posts became sad and bad quality.

Dang, summer 2016. More like depression season. XD

I'm trying to be in a better mood this year, but I still doubt it.

I don't like being alive nowadays. I wasn't meant to be alive this long. I don't have any plans for my future. Can't think of anything. I have nothing. I can't even drive by myself. Job and volunteer things bring on the anxiety. I hate thinking about college. Why am I alive? For my pets and my cursed story. That's basically it. I don't even stay alive only for myself. I keep on thinking that I'll quit this blog when I'm dead. I'm a bit disconnected from my body. And what is identity? I base it off those around me since I don't have a permanent sense of self. XD

My 2014 and 2015 posts were cringy just like a high school freshman.

Now I'm gonna be a high school senior. Wow, look at that evolution of despair and dislike toward life.

Yeah. Me. XD

Might post more later. If I feel like it.

I'm probably the most indecisive person ever.

Bye! <3

information and stuff lol

Hey. Have a post. :) <3

Me: I feel like I haven't been posting as much lately.
Viewers: No, not really. You just skip a day of posting sometimes.
Me: Sorry for not posting as much.
Viewers: Your blog is one of the most active ones I visit...
Me: Well, explanation time!
Viewers: ..........

Ok so. I'm going away. I won't be home later today and tomorrow. Wifi is pretty questionable on whether it works or not. That happens a lot when I travel. Yeah, I don't know. And that means I probably won't be able to post.

About posts, I've been trying. I feel like me posting about my personal life without pictures is boring, so I started to post about my story (or whatever the hell it is) and my crappy drawings instead.

That stuff is more interesting, I'm pretty sure. It might get boring to read the same story related things over and over, but it's better than posting about my hell feelings all the time.

You're welcome for that. :-)

Gonna talk about that stuff anyways lmao.

(lmao = laughing my anxiety off)

Ha, ha. Heck.

I've also been posting some more personal things (irl name reveal picture and irl pictures of myself) because... umm...

Because I want you guys to know who I am before I go leave for good.

I feel kinda weird and guilty if some people only know me as "Cutepups" or "Blue" or whatever name you call me nowadays. It makes me feel like the time I've been spending with you guys is fake if 10, 20, 30, etc. years from now when you talk about me, you'll only refer to me as "that girl who called herself Cutepups." Since that's all just a nickname. And if you don't know my real name or my face, do you really know me? It's a bad thought, I know, but I can't get rid of it.

Bad thoughts grow, unfortunately.

For quite some weeks, I've felt terrible about myself. Wow, what else is new?

Life isn't that good and appealing nowadays. It hasn't for a while. And ever since my birthday, it just got worse.

Now I'm anxious and stressed about something all the time. I won't be able to get rid of these feelings. Can't do that, oops. Not now.

I feel: inadequate. not good enough. like a failure. flawed human. too sensitive for life. unable to do anything right. All the time.

And now I get nervous and ponder these bad thoughts whenever I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize, and whenever I'm in a car.

I'm so scared of failure, but I feel like I'm only destined to fail.

And my hell brain is like, "If you end up failing those things, your life is over. It's ruined."

Ha, ha. Overthinking is fun. Ain't it fun? So fun. :'-)

Now since the pressures that come with growing up are weighing down on me, I feel so trapped and full of despair. And on top of that, I question my identity and invalidate myself all the time.

Pressures of being a senior in high school in the fall, the road test/getting a driver's license, getting a job, college applications, building a resume, volunteering.....

It's so much. So many things have to be done in so little time. I'm scared of all of them.

And it sure makes the thoughts about Death and Dying grow more realistic in the back of my head. Especially since I failed and can't handle life things that well.

Life.. man, it's too much. Not good, not good. Life is boring and a lot of work. That's all it is.

It sucks. Becoming a realist and figuring out what life is. It sucks.

And now the word, Death, is figuratively engraved in the back of my head as the final option when life seems too much to handle for me to stay till I grow old.

And things irl keep on reinforcing that.

So when I see people I consider my friends message me things like "kms" or "i don't want to exist anymore", I don't know how to reply. I'm sorry. I'm not that empathetic and good with words.

It's hard to tell them anything but "hhh no" since I think stuff like that all the time too. So I don't know how to help.

I'm not up to existing either. I hate the thought of being a human who's alive. I think about "kms" as an effed up option.

Like.. neither do I. What is worth it in life? What's there to stay alive for? Family members are dying or gonna die soon enough. Same goes for pets. Everyone we stay alive for is going to die at some point. After that, what's left? Staying for what? What's the point?

Sunshine (my dog) is 12. Many dogs die when they're 13. She's almost 13.

There's also this big thing regarding family members.

And like. I don't want to lose them. But we all get closer to death each day.

And it sucks. Ok it sucks.

I hate thinking. I hate not thinking. I hate being someone. I hate being no one.

I'm not even sure if I like being female anymore. Being considered female. She, her, girl, woman, lady.

Gotta love feeling disconnected from everybody, including myself. Ha, ha, ha.

But at the same time, I don't feel like anything else. I just.. gender lol what.

Having boobs- never liked that. Daily shaving- never liked that. Bras- never liked that. Makeup- never liked that. Having long hair- never liked that. Romance involving myself- never liked that. All are inconveniences of mine.

Smh Cutepups, what kind of girl are you then? You're not a tomboy. You did/do girly things. You like some girly things like pink and wearing dresses and having stuffed animals. But you hate having boobs/not a flat chest? You hate makeup most of the time? What even are you, Cutepups? What girl hates boobs? Smh, smh. Flat chest? Lol wtf you like girly things. Wtf is with you, foolish Cutepups? 

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

I'm a fool. A foolish cryptid. That's me. Questioning everything and screaming internally all the time. That's me lmao.

Whew, Cutepups, you okay? Lmao no.

Ugh, gotta go. Heck me.

I love you all, friends. Bye, bye now.

♡♡☆☆

Human Dawn

 Hey, it's me again. :)

Yesterday, I drew Dawn in human form. Finished the whole thing yesterday.

I'm also full of fear and stress. But that doesn't matter, now does it. Ha, ha. 

The anatomy is very flawed and inaccurate, I know.

Drew it for a flower themed thing.

The outfit Dawn's wearing could be the one she wore when she and Twinkle were training in previous chapters. Like when she pulled the green sword out on Twinkle.

Wow, I ship Dawn and Twinkle so much. Green queen and blue queen. I love them.

Dawn's past (young life). Oh, the feels. Painful. I honestly think her past was worse than Fierdan's. And Ryen's.

Oops, got distracted. Here's the drawing. ^-^" 

She's holding a cup of tea. Dawn's tea. Iconic.

I doubt I'll be able to, but I'm going to try to post Chapter 75 soon. 

I'm growing impatient, and I bet you guys are too. Interesting things are coming. 

I won't say what though.

Content warning for POVs with Fierdan and Fauna. Most likely Fauna's POV.

Well, a more severe warning than the other POVs. Well, for the next chapter at least. 

I hope I don't fall apart due to life things. Ha, ha. 

Not feeling like making this post long. I'll end it here. Bye.

ahh stuff

Hi. :)

Today has been Father's Day. I had a good day. Hope you did too.

Tomorrow is very likely gonna be my last day of school. Last day of finals. Yay.

I'm going away for a few days later this week. I might not post or be online as much. Not like anyone cares that much, but hey.

Whew, I'm so tired.

I feel like I don't say this enough: I love dogs. So much. I love them.

Yes ok. Dogs are so good and pure.

I went to a very pure place last Saturday. Not this past one, the one before it.

World Dog Expo. It was called that. Lots of dogs were there. Had agility courses, doggie day care lectures, dockdiving and surfing dogs, and other cool dog events. It was great and such a pure place.

Alright then. Bye for now. <3

real life fool proof

It's past midnight. Time to make a cryptic post made by a cryptid.

So I'm here to prove to you all that yes, indeed I am a fool.

I have old photos of me. I look like such a fool. I'm a fool, and I have proof that I look like one.

I don't care that much lmao.

Alright so here's the deal. 2015 was a long time ago. So was 2016.

So now my mind is thinking it's a little more safe to post my real life fool pictures since they're pretty old. I don't look that much different from what I look like back then. But I look different in my senior pictures.

Like.. whom is this fool? Who is Cutepups?

(I'm probably gonna regret posting this in the morning. Oh well, I love making myself suffer. How much time do I have left before I fall apart and break down? I don't know, so I'll post real life things now. ^-^")

But first, I found this old photo of my cat, Thelma. She's so small. What a silly kitty.

I also have this cryptid looking picture from an indoor flower show.

The rest of the 2015 posts are from my trip to DC. I look like a fool.

I'm the fool. Cutepups the fool. That's my name. Foolish cryptid is my true form.

Yeah, that's me lmao.

I also have some photos from my trip to the Caribbean and my art class trip in 2016.

So yeah. It's me. Haha.

Real life proof that I'm a fool and a cryptid that no one asked for.

Ah heck why. Why are you like this, Cutepups? Smh.

I really don't care about my posts anymore. Or my life that much. So here, have this post.

What the heck. You're so bad, Cutepups. Stop this. Omg gross. XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~

life stuff lol

Hey, here's a post. Cool.

So.. what's new?

School is almost over. Two more finals left. Two more days.

I talked with my irl friend for a long time. For more than an hour in one day.

Wow, that's new. Haha yeah.

Got proofs for my senior pictures in the mail today. My genuine reaction to seeing my pictures was: "whom is she?" I look so different. I'm my own stranger, pfft.

That look though. My eyes though. Dead inside but looking savage. That's my true look.

I don't look as bad as I thought I would. I'm not photogenic lol.

About hair, I've seen people talk about their hair. And theirs is the same length as mine. They say theirs is short hair. Guess that means I can say my hair is short too. It's leaning more towards short than long. I doubt I'm gonna grow my hair out long again.

What else... hmm...

Boy Epic. Nice songs. I like them. This dude's voice though. Umm yes. "Kanye's in My Head" has been stuck in my head for the past few days.

My cat, Thelma, hunted down this pretty big bug. Then she ate it. I was there. I saw the whole thing. I'm proud of my little hunter.

I changed some things on my profile. The intro part is longer now.

(Sorry, I'm just listing things in random order. ^-^")

Just have to get through tomorrow. Then I might be more okay.

Lately when I look at my face, I feel that it doesn't look that strictly feminine. It sometimes looks gender neutral.

I still feel gross, ugh. I'm overthinking again about non-important things, ugh. Being me, ugh. Ugh, ugh.

When I think about certain body parts too much, they kinda hurt. Um.. chest? What the.

I'm a fool lol. Help.

Oh "Silent Scream" is another song that's been stuck in my head recently.

If I find enough time, I'm going to draw that drawing idea I talked about in the last post.

AA me. ..... aaaaaaahhhhhhh.

Lonely ghost in the world. That's me.

I woke up so early. I'm so tired.

I always say I'm tired though lol. But I really am.

Whew, I'll end the post now.

Oh and I kinda want to post pictures of myself on here. Why though. Not exactly sure.

What to do, what to do...

Good night. ☆

Gross Post (feat. story things)

Hi. Finals have started. Heck, time to die.

Well anyway, school is almost over. Woop. Hope I don't fail.

Today, I'm going to make a "poem" about gross feelings. This will make a gross mess of a post.

I'm gonna write about certain things. Haha yes.

So gross. XD 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel gross. Disgusted.

Can't get rid of these gross feelings. Oh no, can't do that.

This isn't even a real poem. You've been fooled by the fool.

I lie in bed too much. I'm rotting here. Sometimes it feels like my skin is wax. It feels like it melts in the heat. It's not exactly sweat.

After showering, the gross remains. I hate this.

Having a body is annoying. I'd rather be a ghost. A blue spirit would be totally fine as well. But no. I have a body. On top of that, I'm a human.

Black flash. My hair is too long. Cut it shorter. White flash. My hair is at a good length and is short enough. Don't cut it more. Black flash. Have very short hair and dye it pretty colors. Hair is annoying. White flash. No reason to do that.

Black flash. Female parts. More like an inconvenience. I want to be one with the void. White flash. You're female. Black flash. Probably but. White flash. What? Black flash. I don't know lmao.

White flash. Boobs. Black flash. Ugh no. White flash. Female parts. Female. Black flash. Become a spirit today. Become a cryptid. White flash. How about no? Black flash. Shut up. Umm, flat chest? Sounds nice, dude.

White flash. Come on, Cutepups. Stop being ridiculous. Black flash. Question everything. What is identity? Who and what are you supposed to be? White flash. Stop being influenced. You're your own person, damn it!

Black, white, repeat. Black, white, repeat. Opposites. Where's the gray? The gray is lost.

Ugh, what the heck. Duck. Dick. Duke. Fluke. Duke's a dick. Write this cryptic thing. Why? Just do it. Damn it, brain. What if you were a guy, Cutepups? Ooh. Umm. Oh boy.

I always forget that I haven't revealed their true selves. You don't know his true raw form. Wow, talk about spoilers. When will I find the time to write? I really don't know.

Human form Duke. Ahh, my problematic boy. I'm gonna break his body. I love my characters.

I have story plans with a lot of death and mentions about death, body horror and gore, and angst and emotional wreckage. I'm thinking this so deeply and seriously. But like. I get the feeling that you all think they're all cute. That story stuff doesn't get that deep. But it does. It gets deep.

I'm seriously thinking of rewriting this story because I hate it so much. I started writing chapters again because it's one thing to stay alive for. I started it. It's mine. I can't say that about a lot of things.

I honestly feel so disgusted whenever someone reminds me that almost all the characters are "foxes" like anthros. It makes me so uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm a fool.

In this idealized version of myself, I imagine myself rewriting the story. But they're always humans. No "foxes" or other animals. They're all humans. I only imagine them as humans, anyway. So why keep them as "foxes" if they're more like humans?

In this idealized version of myself, I also imagine myself working on the sequel to Twinkle's Story. But it will have a better name. It also won't be called Twinkle's Story as story one. I really hate that name.

In this idealized version, I replace all the AJ words with my own. No more "Jamaa", no more "Zios", no more "Mira".. none of that. I'll have my own world name, and the characters will stay human. In the story, Zios is the evil father of Danny (Fierdan's other less scary name) and Ryen, and he is a very crappy person. I imagine myself changing his name to another name that starts with the letter, Z. I also imagine myself changing Mira's name as well. Phantoms can stay, I think. I just want to erase all AJ aspects from this story.

You guys won't really get it until I actually write the chapters. But like. The themes in this story can be considered mature. This isn't a childhood fairytale. There are mentions of the following that are yet to come:

Death, killing scenes, detailed torture scenes, talk about murders, talk about suicide (it's to fix a few big plotholes), abusive things which are quite a few things, and assault.

It's bad lmao. This story is a cursed one. Can't stop this fool. If I end up writing it in ugly ways of inaccuracy, please just punch me in the face.

Anyway, remember when Dawn was that creepy character? Well, I love her so much now. She is queen. You don't know how much I love her.

What if Fierdan isn't as much of a merciless killer of many that people believe he is? What if the Jamaa world is just a corrupt game? What if nothing's real? What if everything is a type of illusion?

Ugh, this is very problematic. Okay, I know. Sorry, so sorry. Well, here goes. I got a random idea, the other day.

In Chapter 60, Fierdan talked about this little girl who wore a cute pink outfit. He talked about how he killed her.

But what if. What if Fierdan only killed his father? What if Soulless and the other deaths were all just a sick illusion? Mind f*ck.

Well anyway, I can't stop thinking about Fierdan (or maybe he's known as Danny (post-Fierdan) at this point) being asleep and having this vivid dream where he meets with that little girl he supposedly killed. And the girl is mysterious and an important character. 

I also have this artistic idea about Danny. It's Dawn and their mom covering Danny in flowers. At first, it's sweet and pretty. But then it turns into a gore drawing. Flowers piercing through his body (ex. in his ears and an eye). Thorns making him bleed. The blood dripping onto the petals. Dawn and their mom standing on either side of Danny. Danny sitting in a chair. There is no background.

Ryen isn't there because of the hidden meanings.

Danny (or Fierdan) never actually meets his mom. How sad.

Calliah isn't his mom. That's Duke's mom.

Should I draw it? Will you guys want to see me draw that?

Wait, I went off topic again.

Gross. Gross. I'm gross. I feel gross.

Gross. :/

Hot Gardens

Hi. I went on a school trip to the botanical gardens.

It was so hot out. Had to be outside for most of the day. Nearly 100 freaking degrees F.

Welcome to hell, welcome to hell!

Right now, it's just under 90 degrees.

I hate hot weather. So much. I hate it.

I still feel too warm and gross. Ugh.

I don't think I took a shower with the faucet turned all the way to the cold before. And yet still feel like that wasn't cold enough.

I also got a headache. Ah yes. That suffering feel.

Ugh, finals start on Wednesday. Um.. hello, Death.

The thoughts I get.. cryptic. Cursed skits. Bad. So bad.

I took pictures from the gardens. I'll show them at the end of this post.

Pfft, I think some people are gonna look at this post and think I'm being ridiculous for thinking 97 degrees is hot and unbearable.

That heat intolerance feel though. Ayy.

Oh and then the gross feel. Body parts. Eww.

Having boobs. Pfft, did not ask. What if I don't want that? Um, how about a flat chest instead? Would rather feel nothing there. Oh no, body error.

Gross feel. Never ends.

I gotta text or call someone back. Gotta sound professional. Um, how do I do that? With that thing called anxiety?

Ahh heck.

~ Cutepups

Monday Skit

I went on AJ today, but I didn't take any screenshots. There are some things that look different on AJ from the last time I went on.

I also updated the chapter list on my story blog that I don't even properly use.

I got this skit idea while doing nothing in gym class lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[In living room/lounge area as always]

Sparkle: So this is the RIM?
Finny: Yeah.
Sparkle: It says it's 5,000 gems. Inflation is causing prices to be ridiculous!
Finny: Yeah, I agree. I'm also glad to see you picking up on my talk about economics.
Sparkle: It sure is annoying how there's no equilibrium.

[Duke enters room holding a suspicious bottle]

Duke: Guys, I've got to tell you about my latest dream from last night.
Dawn: Okay, tell us about your dream that played in your head during the REM part in the sleep cycle. Tell us the fantasies from your subconscious mind.
Twinkle: Ugh, why would you do that? Now he's not gonna shut up.
Duke: Uh sure, okay then.
Sparkle: This better be good.
Duke: It is, I swear. Okay so it started off with Finny and I being interviewed for jobs at a coffee shop. Sparkle was the one interviewing us.
Sparkle: I don't even work at a coffee shop. I'm not sure if I even like coffee. Oh and I don't remember ever seeing you or Finny ever drink coffee.
Dawn: Dreams aren't supposed to make sense.
Twinkle: Oh. Oh, that's right.
Duke: Finny was being so cute, saying sweet things to Sparkle, flirting with her. Stuff like that.
Finny: I would have done that. What the heck.
Duke: I, however, *starts laughing*
Twinkle: Oh no. This does not sound good.
Duke: Okay, okay. Whew, that was a wild dream. So anyway, I was staring at Sparkle and shouting nonsense during the interview.
Sparkle: Sounds pleasant. It's definitely not related to the many times you interrupted my videos.
Duke: But then you hired Finny and me. I don't know why you even hired me in the first place since the only thing I said that relates to coffee is, "I want to GRIND!"
Twinkle: Oh dear god.
Duke: Oh and Twinkle and Dawn were already workers there. So on the first day, I walked into the coffee shop with only the little employee hat on my head. Then I kindly asked any of you to remove cactus thorns from my dick, but you all were like "no" and stepped away from me.
Twinkle: I am dying inside.
Duke: Then after that, Sparkle told me to grind the coffee beans to make coffee. So I went behind the counter to grind the coffee beans. But there were no coffee beans!
Finny: That sounds horrible!
Duke: It was a tragedy. Then I zoned out and was like, "Why am I naked?"
Dawn: Yeah, why would you go to work naked? I gave you plenty of nice outfits to wear, and this is how you repay me?
Duke: So I got an idea. I was like, "Hey, why don't I try to grind the cactus thorns out!"
Twinkle: I am dead inside.
Dawn: Wait, I remember. Not being fully clothed in dreams is hinting towards a feeling of insecurity in the real world.
Duke: So what I did was......

[Loud ringtone goes off, and Brock stands up]

Duke: ....... It freaking hurt, and I screamed. After that, I got fired. They said it was due to me behaving "inappropriately in the workplace," whatever that means.
Twinkle: Good.
Finny: There should have been coffee beans. Then you wouldn't have done that other thing.
Duke: But if someone- ahem, Twinkle- would have removed the cactus thorns, I would have no reason to do that.
Twinkle: Duke, what the actual hell!
Duke: I also looked at Dawn and Finny. Calm down.
Brock: Can you guys please be quiet? I'm having an important phone call right now.

[Room gets quiet except for Brock' s voice]

Brock: Yes, I love you. You're worth more than that overpriced RIM. Glad to hear you're getting more customers. I love you, dear.

[Brock hangs up after a few minutes of awkward silence]

Brock: Wait a minute. Duke, what is that?
Duke: What?
Brock: What drink is in that bottle you're holding?
Duke: Oh. Well, that is......

[Fierdan and Ryen (aka Night) magically enter scene]

Duke: Swag! It's a drink called Swag! *lunges and takes big sip from bottle* Ah, it's very refreshing!
Brock: Wow, you really are a drunkie. Duke: It's not alcohol this time, square head.
Ryen: It looks like champagne or vodka.
Brock: That is alcohol, drunkie.
Duke: No, it's Swag! *dabs and spills the liquid over himself*
Fierdan: You are an idiot.

[Fierdan gets up and slaps Duke across the face]

Duke: Wow, that was so uncalled for.
Fierdan: You're more Soulless than me at this point, so I hate your guts.
Ryen: I thought I told you to control your violent urges.
Fierdan: *glares at both Duke and Ryen* Shut up. You're both pieces of crap that only exist to make my life complete hell.
Dawn: Chill.
Fierdan: *glares at everyone now* Chill? You want me to chill? Did you forget that I'm the original fire Other, and that Duke only has fire powers because of me? Have you forgotten that Duke wouldn't have existed in the first place if it hadn't been for what I did? Because I haven't.
Dawn: What? Is this because you don't want Duke to end up like you? Drinking alcohol before 21.....
Fierdan: It has nothing to do with me caring about him. He's just my pet.
Duke: Stop calling me your pet!
Fierdan: I'll call you whatever I want.
Ryen: What is wrong with you, Daniel?
Fierdan: Ugh, I told you not to call me that!
Ryen: Well, I'll call you whatever I want.
Twinkle: *whispers to Dawn* I don't get it. What does Fierdan have against his real name? 
Dawn: Eh, I'm pretty sure they'll explain it.
Twinkle: Oh okay.

[Few seconds of silence]

Fierdan: Ryen, you are too much like Father. Drinking was one of the best ways to cope with the hell you and him made Dawn and me go through.
Duke: Yeah, so what? I've drank alcohol in the past as a coping skill just like you did. You're not special, Daniel.
Fierdan: Don't call me that again, or I swear I will end your life right here in front of everybody.
Ryen: Daniel, it's time to stop.

[Fierdan growls and is covered in black fire sparks]

Duke: If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have gotten to the point where alcohol could be a way to cope. You made my mother hate me, hurt me, treat me like absolute trash. You're the one ruining lives, Fierdan. Not me. It's you. Or should I call you Daniel?
Fierdan: I don't mind you guys calling me Daniel, but why... why.....
Ryen: Why what?
Fierdan: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SOUND SO MUCH LIKE HIM WHEN YOU CALL ME THAT?!
Ryen: I sound nothing like Father.
Fierdan: Yeah right. You're speaking that word in a condescending way just like he did. You're saying it just like he did when he confronted me for being weak and small. You always hated me, brother. You think I'm weak for enduring all the abuse I went through. But you're the one who created the abuser. You created Soulless to make my life hell!

[Awkward silence]

Fierdan: He thought I was so weak and pathetic that he talked to me as if I was a girl. Just because I did some non-traditional masculine things, it didn't give him the right to say my name like "Danielle."
Dawn: We didn't mean to sound like Father when saying Daniel. You should know we all want nothing to do with him.
Fierdan: Dawn, oh Dawn.
Dawn: What?
Fierdan: *flames diminish* Even with the excessive abuse brought to me by Soulless, I also went to alcohol to try and remove memories- ones that I recently got back in full- of what he did to you. You see, Dawn, Father deserved to get burned and slaughtered by me. He shouldn't have done things with you. He shouldn't have killed your father. He shouldn't have killed Mother.

[Another awkward silence]

Sparkle: Well, I guess being overdramatic runs in genes. First Duke, now Fierdan.
Duke: I was only telling you about my dream. Fierdan was the one freaking out this time.
Fierdan: Yeah and you know what? You shouldn't have been drinking alcohol.
Twinkle: Wow, does being a hypocrite run in genes too?
Brock: It's my fault. I brought up the bottle.

[Brock goes up to Duke and snatches the bottle]

Brock: No way.....
Ryen: What?
Brock: It says "Swag" on the label.
Twinkle: Oh my god.
Duke: Aha! What did I tell you? I'm drinking Swag, and none of you believed me.

[Fierdan walks towards Brock and Duke]

Fierdan: Let me see that.
Brock: Oh, uh, okay.
Fierdan: I can't believe there's actually a drink called Swag.

[Fierdan takes a sip and then slaps Duke across the face again]

Duke: Hey! What was that for?
Fierdan: Swag is awful, dabbing is awful, you are awful for what you did in your dream.
Duke: Wow, you're so mean.
Fierdan: And you said nothing while I yelled at you for drinking alcohol. This Swag drink isn't an alcoholic drink, you idiot!
Duke: Yeah, I know. It's sparkling water.
Fierdan: You disgust me. You're here just drinking the atrocity.
Ryen: Wait, it's sparkling water?
Duke: Yeah.
Ryen: What the hell, Duke. What the hell.
Twinkle: I guess you two don't know Duke as much as I thought. Duke is known for doing bad things like this.
Duke: What? No, I'm not.
Twinkle: I'm sorry, hun, but yes you are.
Dawn: She's telling the truth.
Sparkle: Yeah, she is.
Finny: Yeah.
Duke: Wow. Okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you liked it. :)

Tragedy Boy Danny

Leaving them as messy sketches. I don't know what this is.

:-)

First one:

Danny is human turning into "fox" while Soulless is behind him. He screams, he cries. Much pain. This poor boy.

Second one:

Pre-Fierdan and Post-Fierdan. Younger Danny with wing fragments. Older Danny with fire wings. Both are sad boys.

...............

I can't stay here for long. I'm still not totally alright with everything in life. Sorry for the recent posts.