four hour sleep

I don't know what to title my posts anymore. That's how many hours I slept at night in the early morning hours of today.

These recent posts though. Heh. Life pretty much sucks irl nowadays. Not up to existing these days.

Well anyway, we reached another weekend. Enjoy it before the next week starts.

Ok so. It's coming closer to summer, which means I'm getting bad again.

Ha, ha. Yeah.

Yesterday and today, I purposefully looked at things that disturb me and make me feel uncomfortable. Bad things. Bad habits. Not good, guys, it's not good. Don't do that.

He casually brought up that place that now has bad memories with me. Oh haha, that was all nothing. It's because of him.

He's the only one here I can stand right now. The others? Nope.

Everything seems boring and not that interesting. Life is sad and boring. Nothing is much fun. Summer can't be fun. Not anymore.

I'm disgusted with myself. How I am as a person (personality(?) and physical aspects).

I feel like I have no good successful future.

Not looking forward to things. Dreading a lot of upcoming stuff.

Typing posts like these make me think I'm being too dramatic. But it's how I feel irl. That's the real me, right?

I feel separated from myself when I interact with people irl sometimes. Identity disturbances.. huh.

Of course I'm not sure and I doubt it, but I feel like I might possibly see a therapist or psychiatrist soon in the vague future.

Overheard them talking about me. Meh. (sigh) 

I still hear their insults though. I sure got issues.

Ugh. :/

I really don't know when I'll be able to write more chapters. I just haven't had the time and/or motivation to write.

I feel like my life is going to fall apart real soon. Trapped and can't escape. Oh heck.

But on a positive note, I started reading this book that I wanted to read for a long time.

I already know about the topics in the book. Ok lol. Ah geez.

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower".. you might have heard of it. Maybe.

School things are gonna keep me busy this weekend.

Monday and Tuesday aren't going to be good days. I already know they won't be. No use in being fake and hopeful. That brings me nowhere.

Hmm, might check up on AJ. Maybe.

Everything keeps on going downhill. Nothing is that good irl. Sorry for all the negativity and vague talk about death. Dumb brain. Stupid me.

Thank you for stopping by again. I appreciate you being here. Your presence is kind. ♡