Hi. I'm back.
Actually, I came back yesterday. I was gonna post, but then I didn't.
Phew, what a relief.
I got woken up by my sister because there was a tornado warning in my area.
Scary shiz. Oh my.
It included neighboring towns. Some that border the one I live in.
Ah geez.
And now it's 3 hours later. The sky is partly cloudy now. No more rain.
Yeah, what a thrill. Since when does my state get tornado warnings? Umm, cryptid state.
What the heck. No one cares about weather updates, Cutepups.
Ok whatever.
I haven't checked my comment moderation thing in a while. I have the feeling someone commented. Umm lol?
One of the only really positive things that happened recently was that I saw some fish in this pretty pond and outdoor back area of this Japanese restaurant.
Oh and I had wifi in the hotel. Lol.
So there were these fish. Koi fish and cat fish. I don't know fish, so I don't know for sure.
Anyway, there were some small red fish, some bigger red and blue fish, and some big fish.
One of the big fish was this golden colored fish.
I kept on calling that fish "Golden Boy" and "Big Boy" as it swam closer toward us.
Hehe. Liked that guy.
There were also two big orange fish. I liked those guys too.
Haha yes. Great fishies. XD
Everything else was boring and made me want to die because I had to think about my future.
My future. XD
Ugh, gotta meet up with some people today.
Didn't want to do this. Got forced into it.
Gotta schedule meeting times for when I have to tutor someone.
I don't know how to tutor people. I don't know how to even socialize.
I am a fool full of fear. :^)
I have some art I want to show you guys. Yes, have some more of my crappy art. Please give me that lovely validation.
~ zones out ~
Not wearing a bra feels so much better than wearing one. Omg wow.
Looking flatter without one.
What the..? Flatter? Words smh.
My chest hurts when I think about it. XD
Boobs. What the actual heck. Stop it. XD
XD XD XD XD life omg XD XD XD XD
Viewers: XD is annoying as heck!
Me: I know! I'm using it in a different subtle context now. XD
Viewers: omg why
This blog is like my high school journal. Omg why. XD
You all can see how happy and funny and good quality my posts were in 2014. Well, for most of that time anyways.
And from there when I started high school hell in September 2014, you can see how my posts became sad and bad quality.
Dang, summer 2016. More like depression season. XD
I'm trying to be in a better mood this year, but I still doubt it.
I don't like being alive nowadays. I wasn't meant to be alive this long. I don't have any plans for my future. Can't think of anything. I have nothing. I can't even drive by myself. Job and volunteer things bring on the anxiety. I hate thinking about college. Why am I alive? For my pets and my cursed story. That's basically it. I don't even stay alive only for myself. I keep on thinking that I'll quit this blog when I'm dead. I'm a bit disconnected from my body. And what is identity? I base it off those around me since I don't have a permanent sense of self. XD
My 2014 and 2015 posts were cringy just like a high school freshman.
Now I'm gonna be a high school senior. Wow, look at that evolution of despair and dislike toward life.
Yeah. Me. XD
Might post more later. If I feel like it.
I'm probably the most indecisive person ever.
Bye! <3
Maybe you should own fishes as pets S haha.
ReplyDeleteOther than that maybe cheer up? Not the best advice but try not to consider everything too badly? Like tutoring. Personally I like tutoring sometimes? I used to do it just don't get kids that are way too young because they're too hard to control for my taste.
Oh, the ones I saw wouldn't be good for being housepets. I used to own other fish though, but getting more fish wouldn't be the best idea right now.
DeleteWell, I was just nervous over meeting them. I met them now though. Doesn't seem as bad. I'm still nervous about the actual tutoring. I don't like being vulnerable and trying new things. My kid isn't that young lol. More complex material though. Great..
up early the same day as you and got a flood warning. it was raining/hailing pretty hard. i just fell asleep lolz.
ReplyDeletethose fish sound so cool lol. i want to see cool animals, omg. going on short vacation so hopefully that might be chill. who knows tho.
ok, also wow? weird sixth sense you have. everyone has these cool little magics and I guess yours is sensing comments. xP (felt like doing an XD due to yours, but mine is limited)
lol wow i'll have to look into colleges fun times. growing up, wow, i'm still a kid.
anyways, i feel more alive when it's really early in the morning and wow i think ppl in my house are still awake (i'll keep it secret for that cool vaugeness) which is now & idk, i guess oversharing is kinda my personality and i feel more open when my brain isn't being bitter (???) i guess.
well i feel like i'm being fake when i comment ok now i'm tired lel.
A
Haha, weird weather. Got a flood warning after the tornado warning actually, but it became sunny a few hours later.
DeleteSeeing fish like that is cool, yes.
Sensing comments.. heh idk. Felt like maybe someone would be concerned after what I posted about and would comment.
I hate growing up and looking at colleges and going away from being a kid. Less than a year, I won't be anymore. How terrifying.
Yeah. 12-3 in the morning is a good quiet time. Well, you seem better to talk to when you're not as bitter lol. Same goes for me though.
My comments seem boring. Or I'm bad at knowing what to reply with. Probably both.
haha sorry for my bitterness. idk why im always in a bad mood lol.. those thoughts and life tho.
Deletecolleges seem like a sad thing. boring life lolz.
-bad comment i probably wont look at this comment train cus i'll forget. :(
Hmm well idk. You're not as bitter as.. uh.. before, I think.
DeleteThinking about college and the future makes me feel sad and bad. Just more studies to get a job that'll probably be unenjoyable, and then have student loans to pay off. Sounds pretty sad, honestly.