emotional rollercoaster

Hey guys. c:

I don't know what to title my posts anymore. So.. just go with it.

My mind yesterday was pretty much like an emotional rollercoaster. Today too, but less steep drops.

I cry easily lol. You guys can probably hurt me, but oh well lol. Do I scare anyone here? Due to stuff I've said, done? I find it strange that I might have viewers who find me intimididating. Ah well, you do you.

I'm such a fragile person though. When someone I look up to gets very mad and starts yelling and cursing at me, my first instinct is to cry (if I can't run away first). It sucks. And then feeling uncomfortable when having to be close around said person for the rest of the day.. well, the feeling is awful. That happened to me yesterday.

The first half of my day yesterday.. well I'll just say it would be so easy for me to vent. Luckily, I didn't make another post yesterday. But I feel more secure and happy today, especially after this weekend's main stressful event mainly involving me. Now onto the stress of finals week (starting the second half of the week for some reason).

But yeah, I'm free from the stressful events of today. It's finally over, done. Wow.. it ended.

It made me feel happy though. Things involving the event from last evening and this morning boosted my mood. That's good, I suppose.

This weekend has definitely been less boring and more eventful than last weekend. Definitely less loneliness. Alright then.

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I feel like kinda ranting. I guess this is on controversial issues. So yeah, warning in advance.

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Since I'm from the U.S. I'll type about this from that country's perspective. I guess.. lol.

So.. um.. bigots and a**holes can just leave now. Not like any of you guys are, right? Probably.

So over these past few days (I'll say from Friday to Sunday), I've heard about three different shootings.

One I heard about from my brother and it took in Europe on a train somewhere.. might be soccer related.. I don't know much about it.

And I think the other two took place in the same U.S. state- Flordia. Also known as that southern state along America's east coast. I'm not 100% sure if they both took place in Flordia, though.

From what I know, on the 11th, someone shot Christina Grimmie while she was in a concert. She was a singer who sang covers of songs as well as her own songs. 

And I first heard about the other Flordia (Orlando, more specifically) shooting this morning from my friends at the event we were all mainly involved in.

And since we are decent caring people, we saw both the U.S. shooting events as devastating. (Didn't know about this Europe one my brother was talking about until later).

But.. honestly.. in America, so many of us are viewing these shootings as average things in society. Kinda growing immune and numb to the news since the news of new shootings occur way too frequently here.

Okay.. seriously. The U.S. isn't.. well.. the best. "America, the best country in the world".. yeah right. In my opinion, and probably many others, that's a lie. Honestly, the news here is probably one reason that leads me to feel depressed. The news is depressing, that's about it. Well, ok, 90% of it. Not including the weather forecast lol. Everything is just growing more corrupt. And that's life, that's reality.

The nominees for the upcoming presidency both pretty much suck (in my opinion). Haha, some people in this country.. it's easy to lose hope here.

Whelp.. ha.. if for some reason you don't know already, I'm pro-social justice (doesn't make me an obsessed sjw though :/).

Lol controversial topics :'》

It's just frustrating. Some people thinking there's nothing wrong, that it's still okay. Even to limit it just a little bit. But no.. of course they stick to these words our (racist, while fighting in the middle of war for independence, white men) founding fathers wrote down over 200 years ago. Politicians.. huh. Clearly, the U.S. has a gun problem. People out there believing it's alright and totally logical for just about anyone of a certain age to purchase guns that can probably be used for terror attacks and nothing less extreme. Really.. there are safer guns out there people can use for hunting and self-defense. For crying out loud, the U.S., by far, has had far more gun-related terror incidents than any other country. And some people in this country still think it's okay, that so many people have died, that more will die to tragic gun incidents in the future? Just.. ugh.

Haha, I made a whole speech addressing the issue of guns (gun control) and presented it to the U.S. government back in December. Learned a lot of social justice things during those few days in December. Heh.. with the same friends and classmates as the ones involved in today's event. Yep, mhmm.

And then these same close-minded people in government and other places throughout the country too think gay people are equal to straight people since gay marriage is legal here now. What.. no.. they're not even close to being equal in rights. That's like a crucial first step. But still.. no. Ever heard of the commotion brought up about trans/non-binary gender people wanting to go in the bathroom they associate with gender-wise? How about the shooting in Orlando this morning (I'm typing this on the 12th btw) at a lgbt safe-spot? Honestly.. some people.. ugh.

"America, the land of the free".. technically yes to an extent, but all the way, no. That's just how it is, I suppose.

And for this shooting that was mainly driven by lgbt(+) hate to have been said to be the largest mass shooting in American history.. just.. there's too much hate in this world.

If I have to pick people who are my closest/best friends irl, they would be the ones that are in the lgbt+ community. Specifically these two people.

So.. yeah. Went a bit controversial here, I suppose.

Bye guys. Peace.