ok..

Hi, I just finished drawing this.

Yeah lol 

I drew me. 

Yeah, I drew myself in a cartoonish style (I actually like the way too big eyes). But yeah. This is like my main outfit. :) 

I changed my profile pic to a zoomed in version of this. I actually like this?? Haha.

Yep.

The other day, I had to take a selfie for my Spanish class. Weird. Project final. Weird. 

Oh yeah. I know the shoulders are uneven. Well.. um.. I tense up a lot it seems. Raised shoulders and all. 

Heck. I can't draw hands and feet. At least it looks decent?? Haha.

I'm getting new glasses in the next few days. And that's what they look like. 

The anatomy may be off, but my body is like a twig. Yes, you twit. :) 

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Tomorrow is Friday. Know what tomorrow is? 

It's the day I have my finals in my hardest classes back-to-back. 

Hhhhngfghfml ;n; 

Anyway, I had to read a short story called "Anxiety" for my LAL final today. And the grammar was kinda very off. There weren't any questions about asking how to correct it. On an LAL (aka English clas) final. What the heck. It didn't even talk about anxiety. I thought the little girl or the father had anxiety then. But then this old woman did. What old woman? What? 

Short stories in school are mighty confusing. Half the time they make no sense! :D great fun!! 

Um.. 

I had a breakdown after I took my math final last year. (Yeah, look how normal I was when I was such an anxious twig!). But math is way easier for me this year. (Still not looking forward to that final tomorrow cuz math lol). So, anyway, I doubt I'll get a breakdown after taking my math final this year. (Good vibes yo). 

The chem final though. Ah.. hopefully not. 

But unlike last year, I feel kinda careless and numb?? And getting irrationally angry and sad online. It seems that I only let out my feelings to strangers on the internet. At this point, I bet some of them hate me by now. But I still tell my life story every time I post. Whelp. W..help. 

Oh shiz. 

Cutepups Life Story: Born on 5/22/2000 at 2:39 am which also happens to be the house number where my mom lived as a child in the city because city folk parents. Conspiracy wtf. I was small like very small but not too small. But still small. I was bald until I was almost 2 years old. So yeah I was like egg head except my head was not an egg. I also was like "fu" to pacifiers and food. Then I ate carrots because they kept me alive or some shiz. Then my skin literally turned orange. Orange egg carrot twig was I. I have a picture of me when I was one or two with a tattoo on me. Bruh. Then I went to therapy because it's apparently a problem if you don't eat food. Wow what a concept. Apparently this one time my dad drove me to or from the therapy center place and I was alone with him. Then a police dude came up to him like "hey why aren't you wearing a seatbelt?" so yeah what a bad influence father. I'm not putting commas here because I don't know. Then I had a childhood. So then I'm 12 and decide to play this Animal Jam game that's been in the ads of these National Geographic Kids magazines I've had since 2010 or 2011. Yeah lmao. So I was like yolo and decided to play AJ for once. I was thinking of cute puppies for some reason or a dog show was on TV. I don't remember lol. So then ever since then I became known as Cutepups. Then I began playing AJ as a monkey with the logical name of "Dancing Daisydog" (yes dog). A few months later I created my main AJ meme fursona idfk "Precious Cutepuppy". Cutepuppy.. Cutepups. Yeah wow I did it on purpose. Then middle school was okay since I actually had friends on a daily basis. Then high school hit and I became sad and lonely. Then I decided to be clingy to online people who I originally interpreted as being huge nerds. But those other friends were also nerdy. Some of them. And I'm kinda nerdy but not like a nerd. It's complicated you see. So one day my brain was like telling me to be way too clingy to online strangers over the internet. Now to this day I feel guilty and bad because I'm secretly really clingy with a select few of them. Like I know they all have lives. Surprising thought. I know we all have to move on some day. But I'm clingy with the constant thought that when they'll go I'll be friendless/the Distant Friend™. I feel manipulative if I force them to stay. There's nothing left to say at this point. I don't want to be any more of an inconvenience to people and hold them back. And ew I feel so bad. I want them to be happy. But my brain is thinking that they are liars just messing with my emotions. But I know I mess with theirs too. I've lost so many friendships already. But ew I feel so guilty. I get mad at them sometimes. And just. Like I'm a bitter person who's a lonely hermit who can't reach out to anyone really. But like in school for example I feel numb since I can go days without talking to anyone. And I hear the people around me laughing at me. Like I'm a freaK. It feels like all my friends or whatever I call them now have grown up and moved on. And I'm here just watching them walk by before my very eyes. So I'm just stuck here. And now online people who I call some of my best friends especially this year and last year are moving on too. And it's like I can do nothing but watch them go. But I feel guilty if I make them stay with me. And I'm scared the friends from my confirmation class will grow apart from me. And they'll move on and forget me. But they're like the irl equivalent of my best friends. And I really can't stand being friendless. Truthfully friendless. I don't want to lose them. Any of them. I lost so many other friends already. Most of them forgot about me. I'm invisible to them. I also don't talk. So that's that. 

Um..

Bye.

~ Cutepups