Duke's a crybaby

Danggggg Cutepups. Back at it again with writing Twinkle's Story chapters. Back at it again with making Duke cry and be an edgy problematic crybaby. Man, oh man, Cutepups is back at it again.

Anyway. Hi guys.

If you probably know by now, I typed up Chapters 52 and 53 this weekend. Before that, the last time I typed up a chapter was in January. It's been a while. 

Well, I thought I was gonna quit the story for good. However, I decided to change my mind and give it another shot.

I felt very physically and mentally unhealthy when thinking about Twinkle's Story for the majority of this year. However, by one or two months ago, I felt not as uncomfortable about the story as I was in the previous months. 

Especially, well, when I started turning chapters into exaggerated vents. And how the writing and plot was just a jumbled mess. And, well, especially turning chapters into just writing out depressing and suicidal thoughts. And how I was basing the characters from being that way on how I was myself. Bad, yeah, that was bad. But that's in the past. Now is the time for improvement. For the better. Yeah that.

And, honestly, I don't care as much. These (what- 10?) months I've been away from thinking about the story made me slowly distance myself from it. It doesn't mean as much to me as it once had. I know the past chapters (and probably 52 and 53 too of course) are, honestly, very badly written. It's all crap. I know. I recently started laughing about it instead of being all so hurt about it. It's funny because it's so stupid. I know it is. Anyway. Now I would like hearing your critiques. My mind still isn't "all better happy thoughts" now, but now I've grown up from a year ago and will try my best not to interpret all criticizing (constructive criticism) comments as a personal attack that the commenter hates me. I want to know how to improve my writing. Heck, I've had a mental breakdown this last summer because I kept on getting yelled at by my dad about my writing and improvement. So, uh, I want to. Get better. You know. Progress. Thinking about college now too. Thinking about writing and art. Maybe. Not too sure yet. Clearest option I know so far. So if I actually want to pursue going in that direction, I've gotta write more so I can improve. 

Sorry guys, I bet this post is looking like a huge mess. I'm so tired right now. Gonna have a long day tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. No, I'm really not. I don't want to do responsible life things tomorrow. I would much rather prefer staying in bed all day. Instead of living life. I don't want to do those things. But I have to. Ugh. 

Oh and by the way. Chapters 52 and 53 are totally different than what I originally (so like a year ago) expected them to be about. I think it's more creative this way. Less obvious stuff. For example, I was going to make Chapter 52 be all about how Dawn comforts Duke after his breakdown. But I decided to change that by making Chapter 52 be a few days after the events from Chapter 51. So instead of me making a chapter being another filler, I decided to just skip the unnecessary stuff and go right into the action. 

So yeah. Not much is known about those days between Chapters 51 and 52. Mysterious. 

I made Duke and Twinkle change a lot though. Like with Twinkle being all caught up in her little world and always forgiving Duke. And now I can only cringe at seeing how her character is. So I was decided to make these two new chapters be about her learning not to be a blind follower and agree to still be in love with Duke after everything that happened in a few chapters before. Because that's not right. There still being romance with them after that is just plain stupidity. So, in other words, I finally made Twinkle have more common sense. Wow, that's so much character development. Haha, yeah I wish.

Also Duke's breakdown ended up with him being more homicidal and (conflicted) suicidal than ever. So that was with him in Chapter 52. 

I know it's probably very confusing, so let me clarify. Fierdan wants Duke to die. Soulless wants Duke to live. Soulless doesn't necessarily care about Duke's wellbeing, they just want him to stay alive because they use Duke as their own puppet. Oh and Soulless basically is only alive because of Duke being alive, and Soulless lives inside Duke. Duke himself wants to die because of his conflicted brain already and because he knows that Soulless is the cause of making Fierdan be known for being evil and he also knows that Soulless hurts him. 

This probably is worded terribly. I'm not checking what I'm typing. I'm typing fast. It's almost midnight. I should sleep. 

Oh, one more thing. 

I drew these dancing boys yesterday. 

How lovely. 

Aw, they look cute. 

Oh yeah. Anyone realize how I made Fierdan say "I love you" in his message to Duke? Eh, eh? 

Dangggg Fierdan. 

Heck.