Hi. I'm very tired. But yeah. Hi.
The Blogger Dashboard looks so different now. It's like everything moved, but at the same time nothing moved. I actually have to go in and check "comments" to see if I have any new comments. Instead of it being on the front page of the Dashboard. An extra step. Wow, more work is stressful.
I was just talking about Blogger yesterday, and this happens. Wow, what are the odds.
Anyway. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. No school tomorrow or Friday. Phew. School is currently like one big old heck. Bad. I'm bad in school. I suck. Kill me lol.
Because of family member reasons, I have to have that big meal of the holiday so early in the day. So early. Wow.
Whelp, my siblings are home now. Last night wasn't as bad as the rest of the day before. This afternoon was pretty alright too.
Morning, however, totally sucked. Ha, ha.
Oh and apparently I am good at something. I apparently have very good reflexes.
Well, according to my sister.
I was her patient today.
Heck, me being confusing.
Mm.
I'm regretting those new chapters now. Wow ok, I still hate and feel awful about my writing.
Why did I word it like that? Ugh..
I'm feeling extremely guilty and like I deserve pain (haa) again. Bad.
Perhaps it wasn't the wisest idea to go back.
Why am I still like this? Ugh..
I'm not better and a rational thinker. Not anymore at least.
Frick.
Cutepups, your writing isn't even that bad, you know? So what, you love your characters (well who knows) and want to come back to it, (a story you once cherished and made you happy) maybe it isn't such a bad thing? (Maybe it's just reflexes but whatever I do it too) If you know your mistakes, can't you just rewrite it and make it better? And not many people see your blog, (probably idk that's a horrid thing to say idk) so there's nothing to feel guilty about. Well, if you never try I guess you'll never know how it turns out. Also, why I'm commenting again, I don't really know why. Well. You're so vague when blogging, I mean, if you don't really feel comfortable blogging personally all the time, you can try something else perhaps. (We tried this all before, it won't work, but who knows change is good). Well that's all the bad advice I have today. Gosh, I wish good change would happen.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I give up. I've been trying to avoid commenting back with a bad quality reply, but I can't even do that. Never mind me wanting to not look at my posts again, but whatever here goes. Sorry.
DeleteEhhhhh nahhhhhh. Overall, everything I write is way worse than anyone else's around me. Even what I'm typing now and in my other posts is such bad writing. I don't even know what I've gotten myself into. I don't have any explanations and never did. Writers can't have that lame excuse. People years younger than me can write way better than I can probably ever be. I went back to it because I want to go back to the way things were co then. That's unrealistic though, right. My words here are bitter. I don't care anymore. I'm a bitter person anyway, no use in lying again and again. I keep on telling myself to go back and fix everything, but I can't stand reading over my old writing. It makes me sick. If I actually go do it, it will turn into something totally different from what I was thinking about back then. I guess that's a good thing, but maybe not. Haha it's fine. I know no one bothers with my blog anymore. People gave up and left after finally realizing how much of a horrible blogger I am now. So what's the use in staying? Yeah, I'm so vague in my posts. I can't even blog good anymore. Everything I end up doing is never good enough, so what's the point, haha. I'm running out of ideas, but why not. I'll give something else a try. I lost hope in honest good change happening and staying.
Well, I don't know how to respond back, even. I've tried to at least three times. I don't even know what to say- I'm going through a lot of the same things, and I don't know if it will help to just talk about it, or talk about practically the same thing. It hurts for life to stay the same for so long, and I wish for it to hurry up and start something. I don't know if my honesty will help, because it still feels like we'll grow apart.. and life will still suck, I guess.
DeleteYeah, er, sorry about that. I finally replied to them on the other post. Something I guess. I guess I'm so cautious and scared about replying because I still have the feeling like the same things that happened around this time last year would happen again. I'm terrified of us falling apart for good (honestly, we kinda already did), but I'm also terrified of being close again. Well, that's me I guess. Such a disappointment.
Deletewell, I hope I'm not a mean person - I really don't want to be. Sorry if I made things worse.
DeleteI'm reading over your comments. You weren't even mean. I'm just too caught up in the past and being overly sensitive.
Delete