I Don't Wanna Know

Hi, hi. Anxiety is very high.

Rip America rip.

YouTube has been recommending this Weathersband channel for me.

Thanks YouTube.

I like their songs (Happy Pills and I Don't Wanna Know). I've been singing them around my house today. Haha.

Ha, ha.

I don't wanna know the results of this election.

Same as many other people.

I'm so glad I have a democratic family. Same political views. Thank god.

I went to the voting place with my parents. They voted for Clinton. I know. Saw.

Ha, ha. America. What the hell. 2016 why do you cause so much pain?

*gives Sunshine (my dog) a hug and presses face into her fur*

*cries*

Hot cocoa is good. Distractions are good.

My stomach is hurting.

Heck. Hell.

I DON'T WANNA KNOW. I DON'T WANNA KNOW.

Can this whole election cycle just be one huge troll? Like, can there just be a rickroll at the end of this?

Please. Let it just be a messed up meme.

This can't be reality. It can't. I refuse to believe this.

By the way. In July, I was bad. More bad then than today. During some of the very bad things (lol), I was so done. So done. Got thoughts. About if Trump becomes president. And how I'll become way more depressed than I was then (in July). And will seriously want to, well, die.

Mm, mm, mm. Those intrusive suicidal thoughts. Mm, mm, mm. Fantastic. Wow, wow, wow. And right now him becoming president seems like it could become a reality.

Um wow ok then 2016. O, f***ing, k.

"I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory..." quote from the Hamilton musical.

Ah. Death.

Oh boy.

Becoming happy and healed seems like an idea that just got thrown in the trashcan now.

I'm worrying over so many people I consider my friends right now.

America, this is not okay.

This is not okay.

I have very little amount of hope left.

Nope. Nada. None.

Ooooops, time to die.

Haha funny.

Ha, ha.

Me in July.

Ha, ha.

The only good thing left for this year will be in late December when I finally won't be in this country.

Can't wait for the cruise.

That's one thing to stay alive for, I suppose.

Can it just be Christmas already?

Throw me in the ocean.

Bye.