It's been another two days. Another two tally marks on the wall.
I feel better today. I'm okay. I can go. I don't care what she says, I'm fine. I can go one day without breaking down, right?
For the first time since I came here, I get fully dressed. Made myself look more presentable. I felt like it would be better if I put on the red clothes instead of the black ones.
Dawn told me to put on these sunglasses when I leave this place. I forgot why, but I guess it's a way to mask my identity. It's not very effective though.
In all honesty, I never really understood why the public suddenly started treating me like a most wanted criminal. It was like one day I was living my life like a regular citizen, and the next day that life was thrown away.
I wish I was a regular citizen. I would do anything to go back to the days when I was back in school. I still find it hard to believe how much my life has changed from less than a year ago.
But I can't go back. I can never go back to the old life I had. Everyone either is terrified of me, wants to lock me up, or wants to kill me. At least it sure feels that way. Except for two people- Dawn and Twinkle. I still have my doubts about them. Especially now. I've hurt both of them now.
I take a deep breath and exit the place. The bright sunshine instantly hits my face. Where to now? I look in all directions. Just a barren landscape.
I make the decision to walk north. Five minutes later, I look back. The one-roomed shack I stayed in is out of my field of vision.
Maybe that's why Dawn decided to take me there. She practically lives around here on fox territory's coast at the edge of Jamaa. Other people wouldn't suspect to go this far out to try and find me. They, like myself, aren't from here.
I turn back around and throw my head back so my face is looking directly up at the sky. Light blue, few white clouds scattered around the sky, a flock of birds flying in perfect formation across the sky. Through everything that happened, nature is still there. Nature is still beautiful.
Part of me wants to shoot out my fiery wings and fly up to the birds above. I decide not to. What if I'm not better? What if instead of orange, black flames appear again? I don't want to risk that happening, so I continue walking instead.
Something black is up ahead. Excited to see this color, I run towards it.
It ends up being an old road. I hesitate before walking on. Every few steps or so, I look back up at the sky watching the flock of birds fly in the same direction I'm going. As I walk along the edge of the road, I smile.
I haven't felt this good in such a long time. It's so peaceful and quiet, these are only my thoughts, life is beautiful.
I stop at the intersection. I watch this car bump up into my sight. It's driving pretty unsteady, but I only assume that's because of the road. Eyes transfixed to the car, I watch it come closer and closer to me.
I should have ran away from that car.
The car drives off the road and is speeding right at me.
I should have moved.
Seconds before the car's front bumper could come in contact with me, it stops.
Out come two male foxes in navy blue suits.
Before I can distinguish what they're going to do, someone else in the back seat of the car comes out. That person runs up behind the two guys in navy blue.
In a matter of seconds, the two in navy blue are lying painfully on the ground. A kick in the back, a punch to the back of the head, they fall to the ground. Immediately, I see a taser. They get tased multiple times. Satisfied in seeing them incapacitated, the person walks toward me.
The person is a female. Her hair flows behind her. Then we make eye contact. I push the sunglasses closer to my face. I freeze.
Those gray eyes. That face. It's her. Of all people, it has to be her.
"Duke, get in the car," she says.
I don't take any steps. I can't move.
I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm helpless. I'm done for. I'm better off dead.
I don't even turn away from her. I only look at her with wide eyes. I feel tears well up in my eyes. My eyes are overflowing with tears.
"Duke, get in the car!" she repeats, louder this time.
I wonder if she can see my red eyes behind my sunglasses.
What is this feeling? Sadness, anger, fear?
I take off the sunglasses. One paw holds them, and the other is down at my side in a fist. Tears continue rushing down my face. My eyes sting. My nose is running. My throat feels clogged up.
It hurts. It freaking hurts like hell.
A minute passes. I'm wasting time.
I look her in the eye, and I tremble as I hear my voice. Just like a small child. Who only knows one thing. Fear.
More tears wet the sides of my face. "M-mom..."
Mom.
I never thought I would see her again. I promised myself that I would die before I saw her again.
I should have died.
Don't make Fierdan make decisions for you. You're different than him. You don't have to die. You can be your own person. You don't have to die. Stay alive.
The voice flows through my head. Soulless.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
"I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die."
"Shut up!" I shriek. "Shut the hell up!"
"I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die."
"I don't want to die! I want to stay alive!" I scream.
My body hurts so much. Everything hurts.
My mother looks at me and smiles. "I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. Now just get in the car. Everything will be okay."
I end up getting in the passenger seat of the car. She goes in the driver's seat and starts up the car engine. I don't know if it's because my vision's blurry that that's why I see the two guys in navy blue awkwardly get up.
My mother drives in reverse and then shifts gears back to forward driving. One paw on the steering wheel, one paw holding a weapon. It looks similar to the one Fauna used on me. Except this one is dark gray in color.
She looks over her shoulder behind the car as she continues speeding down the lonely road. Aiming the gun back in the direction where the two in navy blue are running toward us, she starts firing. Out the car window, the bullets start flying.
I don't know if any of them got hit.
The car turns a corner.
Doesn't stop driving.
I stay with her.
Later on, I found out she just saved me.
The two guys in the navy blue suits were planning on kidnapping me and bringing me to a place for them to torture me until my entire body is mutilated.
They brought Calliah, my mother, along with them because they knew she would abuse me when we lived together.
They thought she would be on their side and would also take part in torturing me.
They were wrong.
Fierdan and Soulless made her hate me. Now Fierdan's finally fighting against Soulless. He isn't trapped by Soulless's abuse anymore.
My mother isn't having her mind be manipulated by Soulless making her hate every ounce of my being.
She is here for me.
She loves me.
That doesn't mean I forgive her for what she did to me in the past.
She tells me they were planning on torturing me in the basement of the Tall Tower.
I laugh and cry as I hear that. The Tall Tower, huh? They planned on breaking me in the basement in the same building where I also had the time of my life on the roof.
The place where Twinkle and I fell in love.
TWINKLE
The moment I leave the castle, it disappears. I stand still, looking all around me. I find it ridiculous that I don't know where I am.
Then Dawn runs toward me. She hugs me, which gives me a surprise.
She's shaking and crying as she holds onto me.
"Twinkle, I'm so glad to see you again!" she gasps. "I missed you so much."
I look at her cautiously. I have every right to hate her. However, her current state tells me that I just can't hate her right now. Her long brown hair is tangled and has dirt in it. The dress she is wearing is torn to shreds at the bottom. Bruises and scratches are scattered throughout her body. On her arms, her legs, her neck.
"Do you know where Duke is? I can't find him anywhere!" she says with a hint of panic in her voice.
I can be so cruel.
Giving her a cold look, I snarl, "Why should I be responsible for knowing about Duke's whereabouts? You should be the one who should know. He clearly is more interested in you, anyway. In all honesty, I couldn't care less about what happens to him and to you."
Dawn steps back. "Oh, so you knew."
I scoff. "Of course I freaking knew. You can have him for all I care. I'm done playing games of romance with him."
"Sorry we hurt you, Twinkle."
I laugh. "Hurt? Hurt! I'm way past 'hurt' now, Dawn. I'm over it!"
A moment of silence follows. Dawn breaks it by changing the topic. "You look different, Twinkle."
"So you noticed. I'm glad to know you have two functioning eyes."
Dawn cries again. "Stop, please stop. Will you please help me look for Duke? You don't know what else happened between us when you were gone. It's crucial that we get to him first."
Wait, what? People are still after him? We're nowhere near that boardwalk. They can't possibly still be searching for him. It's been weeks!
I never knew Dawn could get so worried. Looking at her is starting to scare me.
I nod my head. She nods her head. Mutual agreement.
We begin looking for Duke.
We look for hours.
We never found him.
Dawn whispers, "He did it. He must have."
I turn my head to look directly at her. "Did what?"
"Died."
I shake my head. "No, Dawn, he's not dead."
"Yeah and what do you know, Twinkle? You don't know him like I do. He desperately wants to die. He knows it will make the world a better place when he is dead," Dawn pauses and then says, "He tried to kill me. He just couldn't do it."
"Duke is not dead!" I shout back. "Stop saying he is!"
As more time passes, I start questioning myself.
What if I'm wrong? What if he really is dead?
Even after everything that happened, that thought makes me feel as if there's a rock in my stomach.
As night falls, we collapse onto the ground.
We fall asleep on our backs holding each other's paw.
No comments:
Post a Comment