If I don't post for a day or for a few days, there are two chances: I've been feeling really bad, or I've been feeling really good.
This week, especially Friday, the reasons for no posting were the former.
It's better if I don't even post, anyway. I've hurt you guys so much already. I'm so stubborn at everything, I can't even let go of these anxious/depressing thoughts.
I really need to stop this pity. I just need to stop. Stop it all.
My stomach and head hurts when I post. They hurt when I don't post. They still hurt right now.
I have no reason. Life is good. Besides some words people say to, or around, me. I'm the only one to blame. It's my fault.
I might post something about some of those mental stuff from last post. Probably the ones in the "high" ranges on the results.
I feel like I'm copying people by just feeling the way I am.
I really should stop.
Intrusive thoughts while feeling anxious and depressed at the same time. How fun. Great. Fantastic. Not.
I'm going to disappoint some people irl because I'm the worst at planning out interesting activities. I don't have the energy to, and nothing except this online stuff that I bet is slowly killing me really interests me.
Twenty One Pilots and The Eden Project are great bands to listen to when I'm feeling like this. As well as a few others, but mostly just those two.
Haha, sorry for typing about them so much. I love them so much. Their music makes my day a little better. And I can relate (internally of course since I'm figuratively dead externally) to some of their songs. Like "Fake You Out", "Doubt", and "Kitchen Sink". More on the personal level than on the more broad level of songs like "Stressed Out" and "Ride". Yeah. |-/
Why not just call me that civilized outcast?
I guess "Heartless" could be consider vent art. But it's less red than most of the ones I draw but don't post online.
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Bye.
~ S (aka Cutepups)
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