hmm....

Hi. Cutepups the blue fool is back for another post. Yeah ok.

So, today has been Thanksgiving. Did some stuff. Yeah.

Well, it got me thinking. "Hmm, maybe doing this will make me appreciate myself and have more gratitude?"

Yeah. Screw the history. That sucks.

But like. Thanks-giving. Giving thanks.

Which then brought me to think of something called Gratitude.

I haven't been doing and coping that well recently (for several weeks, but now more than ever). I probably need positivity to survive.

Well anyway, I have some more ideas for posts. Ideas that center around gratitude. About being grateful. Because, you know, thinking positively is a good thing.

So yeah. I'm gonna make a few posts about that. Soon hopefully.

I also have a new poem in mind. I'll try and remember to post that soon.

I also got 2 mental health related apps today. Maybe they can be useful and help me when my overly sensitive self gets into those Bad Moods TM.

Oh and I keep on forgetting to finish the poems I started about my characters. I only have enough motivation to make personal poems these days. Sorry oops.

I also have those sad drawings of Duke and Dawn. I should actually go draw them. But, you know, motivation and time get in the way.

Nobody in my family yelled at me and made me feel awful today. That's good, I guess.

For almost a week now, I've gotten yelled at every other day.

Yeah.. haa.. ow. :"(

Oh and by the way, I was also feeling stressed and on edge a few weeks ago. It wasn't just about me. Certain things happened to certain family member. Again.

And then there's my dog. I'm worried about her health, too.

I worry a lot. But I rarely show it.

I don't know what else to put here. There is a lot of empty space beneath these words. I don't know how to get rid of it since I'm not using the Blogger app.

To be honest, I'm haunted by my past.

I'm haunted by the words they said. I'm haunted by the words I said back.

We both said terrible things. Did bad things.

Sometimes I can be such a sh!tty person. Like, very sh!tty. Unbearably stubborn.

It's hard for me to believe people that tell me I'm a good person. Because I don't know how I can be if I've done terrible things to others and myself.

I'm trying to make the empty space smaller.

And smaller.

Until it's completely gone.

............

~ Cutepups